Q: What's a pedophile's favorite thing about Halloween?
A: Free delivery.
Joke Jokes
What is long that Paul Walker can fit into his mouth? A long black tree.
What do tomatoes 🍅 learn to do in a race?
Ketchup!
A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks, "Where'd you get that lovely thing?"
"Africa," the parrot replied.
How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb in the middle of the night?
I don't know, I can never see them.
What has two butts and kills people?
An assassin.
Tj's hairline is so far back, Blue's Clues can't find it.
What's flat chested and emo? A cutting board.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.
What's so great about dead baby jokes? They never get old.
When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.
There are two types of people in Alabama: the orphans and the incests.
Teacher: This assignment is big.
Student (male): I have something that's big.
Teacher: Yeah, your forehead.
When you're a terrorist and you have a stutter.
A a a a a a a a ala ala ala ala ala alaog alaogbar.
What do Princess Diana and a landmine have in common? Both are easy to lay. Both costly and time-consuming to get rid of.
What did Saint Peter say to Diana when she got to the pearly gates? "Wipe that Merc off your face."
Two nuts were chasing each other. One said to the other, "I'm-a cashew!"
What’s the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either terrible news or great news.
I’m trying to find out what IDK means. Every time I ask someone, they say, "I don’t know."
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell?
Because it’s a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.
