Joke

Joke jokes

Bar

Three men walk into a bar... you would have thought the last one would have ducked.

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  • Covid

    My brother caught Covid last month.

    First I knew about it was when he speed-dialled me at 3am and gasped, "I can't breathe, I can't breathe!"

    I just told him straight: "Bro... you really need to work on your George Floyd jokes."

    Morgue

    "Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?"

    "To the morgue."

    "But I'm not dead yet!"

    "But we're not there yet."

    Cliff

    Have you heard about the lemming that jumped off a cliff into an ocean?

    I heard it was because of pier pressure.

    Cow

    What do you call a cow that is really sad? Utterly Depressed. HEHEHEHE

    Relish

    I'd like to relish the fact that you've mustered up the courage to ketchup to my level.

    Egg

    What did the egg say to the boiling water?

    It might take a while for me to get hard because I just got laid last night.

    Cancer

    "What did the blind, dumb, paraplegic, dead, eight-year-old child get for their birthday?"

    "Cancer."

    Tree

    What is long that Paul Walker can fit into his mouth? A long black tree.

    Parrot

    A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks, "Where'd you get that lovely thing?"

    "Africa," the parrot replied.

    Black People

    How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb in the middle of the night?

    I don't know, I can never see them.