Joke jokes
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
Dad: Hey son, wanna hear a joke?
Son: Sure thing, dad!
Dad: Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She found out that I was sleeping with the neighbor's dog!
Son: I don't get the joke, dad.
Dad: It's my life, son! My life is the joke.
There's something on your chin... no, the 3rd one.
I would tell jokes about Kobe, but they would just crash and burn.
What starts with the letter M, ends with -arriage and is a man's favorite thing? Miscarriage. That joke never gets old, just like the baby.
Q: Where do you find a quadriplegic?
A: Right where you left 'em.
What do you call a kid watching Star Wars by themselves?
Hans Solo.
Some people ask why jokes exist. I say, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they have sex, and they make another one of you.
What is worse than 16 babies in 16 dumpsters? One baby in 16 dumpsters.
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
The suicide squad.
Dark humor is like cancer; it's funnier when kids get it.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.
What do you tell a dead metal fan?
Rust in peace.
What's worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree?
1 dead baby hanging off 1000 trees.
My friend's mother thought a kid who had autism and Down syndrome called him a "double down."
Is sex a joke? Because I don't get it.
Me: Now I know why Michael Jackson turned white.
The police: You finally figured it out.
What's white and can't climb a tree?
A refrigerator.
Johnny is walking along, and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, "Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?"
The priest says, "Because I'm a father."
Johnny says, "Yeah? Well, my old man's got three kids, and he don't wear his collar backwards."
The priest says, "You don't understand, son. I have thousands of children."
Johnny says, "You should wear your fuckin' trousers backwards."
What's the best part about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.