Joke jokes
The other day, I walked up to someone who looked lost and he had all scraggy clothes on. I said, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents, buddy."
I hope Stephen Hawking's an organ donor because I need new parts for my go-cart.
What do you call a disabled person who gets high?
Baked potato.
Well, you know what they say about cliffhangers...
Yo, hairline been missing so badly that the police had to put up a wanted poster for it!
Why are the Twin Towers and genders so similar?
Because there used to be two of them, but it's offensive to joke about that now.
Q. What's the most musical bone?
A. The trom-bone!
What did one copper say to the other? C U.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
I would tell a dad joke, but it already left me.
One depressed kid goes to high-five a tree, but the tree just left him hanging.
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.
What’s the speed limit in bed?
It’s 68. Once you hit 69, you have to turn back around.
Do you like pudding? Pudding deez nuts in your mouth!
I see you guys have SANS-ational jokes!
What's an orphan's favorite song?
"Gimme Shelter."
Wanna hear a joke about the Flash?
"Never mind, it's too fast."
Grandpa: "Sonny, let me tell you something. There's only one damn thing in this whole world worse than Alzheimer's."
Boy: "What's that?"
Grandpa: "What's what?"
What is the similarity between orphans and apples?
They both get thrown out.
Q: How can you tell if a vampire is sick?
A: By how much he's coffin.