Joke jokes

What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?

I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!

Why don't women parachute naked?

That annoying whistling sound on the way down.

A guy barges into a psychiatrist’s office and screams, “Doctor! I have suicidal tendencies! What do I do?!”

The doctor calmly answers, “Pay me in advance.”

What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?

They both come while you’re asleep.

"Babe, is it in?" "Yeah." "Does it hurt?" "Uh-huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."

How do you know if there's a vegan in the room?

Wait 2 minutes and they'll tell you.

A dad tells his son, "Stop masturbating! If you do it too long, you will go blind."

The son replied, "Dad, I'm over here!"

Everyone: You gotta pay the cost to be the boss.

Germans: You gotta be the caust to be the boss.

We should really stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents will get mad.

I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.

A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"

Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"

What do you call a Chinese man in the summer heat? Boi Ling.

You're so scary that even your hairline ran away.

There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.

If having sex for money makes you a wh*re, then what does having sex for free make you?

Non-profit wh*reganisation.

What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?

One of them is an outside job.

I would say life's a joke, but I can't, because jokes have a meaning.

I couldn’t understand why the baseball was getting bigger and bigger.

Then it hit me.

What happens when you cross a rhetorical question with a joke?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was running from you, hehe.