Joke jokes
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?
Elton John is still standing.
Why do people hate abortion jokes?
It leaves you with an empty feeling inside.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightbulb?
Steven.
What's the difference between a Palestinian and SpongeBob's Sandy Cheeks?
One is living in a bubble, the other one in rubble.
"Babe, is it in?" "Yeah." "Does it hurt?" "Uh-huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."
A guy barges into a psychiatrist’s office and screams, “Doctor! I have suicidal tendencies! What do I do?!”
The doctor calmly answers, “Pay me in advance.”
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
Guy: "Can I tell you a joke?"
Spiderman: "Yes."
Guy: "You only have 11 months on your calendar."
Spiderman: "Why?"
Guy: *holds up knife* "Because I murdered May."
Me: Mom, the weight scale wants your weight, not your phone number!
What do you call a transgender person? Nintendo Switch.
What is Hitler's favorite animal?
A dolphin.
What do you call a murderer with two butts? An assassin.
They say they'll stay, but I left first.
I was going to tell a time traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it.
Why does an orphan use water for his cereal?
He is waiting for his dad with the milk.
Dark humor is like food, some just don't get it.
Man: Cow milk is drinkable.
Other man: How do you know that?
Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth*
Other man: John...h-how do you know that!
What instrument do skeletons use? A trombone! Haha!
Why did Michael Jackson dangle a baby over a balcony?
He wanted to clean out the blanket.