One depressed kid goes to high-five a tree, but the tree just left him hanging.
Joke Jokes
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.
What’s the speed limit in bed?
It’s 68. Once you hit 69, you have to turn back around.
Do you like pudding? Pudding deez nuts in your mouth!
I see you guys have SANS-ational jokes!
What's an orphan's favorite song?
"Gimme Shelter."
Wanna hear a joke about the Flash?
"Never mind, it's too fast."
Grandpa: "Sonny, let me tell you something. There's only one damn thing in this whole world worse than Alzheimer's."
Boy: "What's that?"
Grandpa: "What's what?"
What is the similarity between orphans and apples?
They both get thrown out.
Q: How can you tell if a vampire is sick?
A: By how much he's coffin.
So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.
I’m just kidding.
What do you call an act of “funny” discipline? A PUN-ishment!
Person A: What do you call the dangly bit of an octopus?
Person B: Tentacles?
Person A: Ok *tickles person B ten times*
What do you get when I get mixed with coffee?
De-presso.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.
If someone calls you dirty minded just say:
"You are dirty minded as well if you understand what I'm saying."
What do you call the worst joke ever?
Well, according to my mom, I am.
What did the bee say after the execution? "The criminal has been beeheaded!"
If having sex for money makes you a wh*re, then what does having sex for free make you?
Non-profit wh*reganisation.
What do you call 4 black guys and 2 white guys?
The Oreo Gang!
