Joke Jokes

All these jokes are pen-ful to read.

I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

What would you call the Eiffel Tower if it falls over? The I Fell Tower!

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a carrier bag? One is plastic and dangerous for kids to play with, and the other is a carrier bag.

My mom said the happier a person is when sick, the sooner they get better.

So I went to the hospital, hooked up everyone's breathing masks to laughing gas.

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

What's all fuzzy, warm, and laughing? The person who snapped its neck and put it into the blender.

There was this kid who was going to take a girl to the dance. He had fancy clothes, fancy shoes, etc. Finally, the day of the dance came. He happily drove over to the girl's house. When he got there, he said to her father, "thank you for this moment, have a great night".

At the dance, the girl asks the boy, "can I have some food?" He gladly replies "yes" and walks over to the food trucks, only to see a huge line. So he waits in line for like 30 minutes. He comes back to the girl, and she says, "thank you so much, I really needed something to eat". Then she asks for some sweets and a soda. Again the boy waits in line for about 30-45 minutes. Then he comes back, and she says, "thank you SOOOO much". Then she says she has one more request. The boy, (now clearly agitated) says, "what is it?" She says, can I have some punch? SO the boy walks over to the punch table, but to his surprise, there was no punch line.

Why isn't a koala a bear? It doesn't have the koalafications.

What has more brains than the Columbine students? The wall behind them, xD.

A white dude walks up to a Muslim and says, "So you're an Indian?" and the Muslim says, "No brotha, I'm not 7-Eleven, I'm 9/11."

Q: What has two wings and a halo?

A: An Asian phone call, "Wing, Wing, Halo?"

What’s the difference between a suicide bomber and a feminist? A suicide bomber actually does something when triggered.

What do you call it when Hitler abuses his wife?

Adolf Hit Her.

What’s red and very rare?

A baby in a blender.

What is the difference between a boomerang and an orphan's dad?

The boomerang comes back.

A lady walks into a dentist's office, sits on the counter, and spreads her legs. The dentist says, "I think you have the wrong idea." The lady replies, "Last week you gave my husband his false teeth; now you can get them out."