Joke jokes

Q: How many dead hookers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Not three. My damn basement is still dark...

Have you heard about the lemming that jumped off a cliff into an ocean?

I heard it was because of pier pressure.

"Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?"

"To the morgue."

"But I'm not dead yet!"

"But we're not there yet."

I love bullying orphans. Who are they gonna tell? Their parents?

What did the left butt cheek say to the right butt cheek? "Together we can stop this shit!"

What's the best part about having emo grass?

It cuts itself!

What do you call a cow that is really sad? Utterly Depressed. HEHEHEHE

You've probably heard this one before, but screw it.

What's the difference between Jesus Christ and the kid I just killed?

Jesus Christ probably died a virgin.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To end his pain and suffering.

I'd like to relish the fact that you've mustered up the courage to ketchup to my level.

What is long and black? The line at Popeyes.

"What did the blind, dumb, paraplegic, dead, eight-year-old child get for their birthday?"

"Cancer."

What did the egg say to the boiling water?

It might take a while for me to get hard because I just got laid last night.

Q: What's a pedophile's favorite thing about Halloween?

A: Free delivery.

A white dude walks up to a Muslim and says, "So you're an Indian?" and the Muslim says, "No brotha, I'm not 7-Eleven, I'm 9/11."

dont make jokes about the accident my dad died in it he was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia :(

I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

What would you call the Eiffel Tower if it falls over? The I Fell Tower!

I’m trying to find out what IDK means. Every time I ask someone, they say, "I don’t know."

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

What's so great about dead baby jokes? They never get old.