Before Marriage Boy: At last, I can hardly wait! Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No, don't even think about it! Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of course, always! Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: No, why are you asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get! Girl: Will you slap me? Boy: Hell nah, you crazy!! Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yeah girl! Girl: Oh Honeyyy😍
After Marriage Now, read that from the bottom to the top.
I was going to share my joke about anal, but, fuck it, it was inappropriate.
What's white and can't climb a tree?
A refrigerator.
What's the best part about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
An old lady was low on money because she had spent all of her money on clothes.
So she decided to go to the bank. She walked up to the guy at the desk. She asked if he could check her balance. He asked a few questions to the old lady, like her weight and her height. He asked her if she had done any exercise recently. She was very confused. She got angry and asked the man again to check her balance. So he stood up, walked next to her and pushed her over. He came to the conclusion that she had a low balance.
What's a cannibal's favorite dessert?
Lady fingers.
If I were a cat, I'd spend all nine of my lives with you.
You're probably getting tired of these gravity jokes... but I keep falling for them every time.
A man walks into a bar with a slab of concrete under his arm and says, "A beer please! and one for the road!"
What's a skeleton's favorite food?
Spare ribs.
Two blondes fell in a hole and one asked, "It's dark in here, isn't it?" and the other one says, "I don't know, I can't see."
What kind of fish comes out at night?
A starfish.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
As many as you like. They can’t change anything.
I'm a rapist.
What did the racist serial killer say to the cop?
“Wait, you’re getting paid?”
What's the difference between an onion and a baby?
One makes you cry when you cut it up.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment.
Knock knock. Who's there? Crippling depression. Crippling depression who? Me.
What's the difference between Stephen and a car? A car loses oil, Stephen loses the ability to walk.
Little Johnny's sister, Suzy, sees her mom in the shower and asks, "What is that between your legs?" Her mom responds, "That is my garage." The next day, Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, "What is that between your legs?" Her dad answers, "It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy's garage." The next day, Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, "Why is there blood all over your hands, Suzy?" Suzy says, "Well... little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage, so I ripped its wheels off."
