Joke jokes

What do you call a kid watching Star Wars by themselves?

Hans Solo.

Holy shit there's so many yo mama jokes. Here's mine: Yo mama so skinny she used a cheerio as a hula hoop.

Yo mama so fat that she made a plane unstable and crashed it into the Twin Towers.

Yo mama so old that she has Jesus's autograph.

Yo mama so ugly that not even makeup can save her.

Yo mama so dumb that she thought Rocket League was a competition between kids in wheelchairs.

Dark humor is like cancer; it's funnier when kids get it.

What do you call a group of depressed kids?

The suicide squad.

What do you tell a dead metal fan?

Rust in peace.

What's worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree?

1 dead baby hanging off 1000 trees.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.

Is sex a joke? Because I don't get it.

Before Marriage Boy: At last, I can hardly wait! Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No, don't even think about it! Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of course, always! Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: No, why are you asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get! Girl: Will you slap me? Boy: Hell nah, you crazy!! Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yeah girl! Girl: Oh Honeyyy😍

After Marriage Now, read that from the bottom to the top.

I was going to share my joke about anal, but, fuck it, it was inappropriate.

What's white and can't climb a tree?

A refrigerator.

What's the best part about dead baby jokes?

They never get old.

An old lady was low on money because she had spent all of her money on clothes.

So she decided to go to the bank. She walked up to the guy at the desk. She asked if he could check her balance. He asked a few questions to the old lady, like her weight and her height. He asked her if she had done any exercise recently. She was very confused. She got angry and asked the man again to check her balance. So he stood up, walked next to her and pushed her over. He came to the conclusion that she had a low balance.

What's a cannibal's favorite dessert?

Lady fingers.

If I were a cat, I'd spend all nine of my lives with you.

You're probably getting tired of these gravity jokes... but I keep falling for them every time.

A man walks into a bar with a slab of concrete under his arm and says, "A beer please! and one for the road!"

What's a skeleton's favorite food?

Spare ribs.

Two blondes fell in a hole and one asked, "It's dark in here, isn't it?" and the other one says, "I don't know, I can't see."

What kind of fish comes out at night?

A starfish.