Joke jokes
What's the difference between homework and a hooker? They both start with an "H", but we all know which one we would like to do.
There is a feminist group in my town.
It is called Gal-Qaeda.
(I actually got this from The Simpsons, so credit to the show.)
Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? I would too if all I heard was "daaaaaaah!"
Did you hear about the two people who stole a calendar?
They each got six months.
What did the girl say to the man with a moustache?
I moustache you a question.
Easy! Peasy! Lemon Squeezy! 🍋😂
Sign outside a hair salon: "We'll color your hair or dye trying."
Osama bin laden hit the towers because he couldnt fly straight
Why was 10 traumatized?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
Why do people come on here just to say that we should not be making these jokes? They literally look this shit up just to complain.
Some people ask why jokes exist. I say, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they have sex, and they make another one of you.
What do you call a kid watching Star Wars by themselves?
Hans Solo.
There's something on your chin... no, the 3rd one.
What starts with the letter M, ends with -arriage and is a man's favorite thing? Miscarriage. That joke never gets old, just like the baby.
Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks, “A Bloody Mary?”
The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water for me.”
“Hot water?”
“I found a tampon out back and want to make tea.”
What is worse than 16 babies in 16 dumpsters? One baby in 16 dumpsters.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.
Dark humor is like cancer; it's funnier when kids get it.
My brother caught Covid last month.
First I knew about it was when he speed-dialled me at 3am and gasped, "I can't breathe, I can't breathe!"
I just told him straight: "Bro... you really need to work on your George Floyd jokes."
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
The suicide squad.