Joke jokes
Is sex a joke? Because I don't get it.
Before Marriage Boy: At last, I can hardly wait! Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No, don't even think about it! Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of course, always! Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: No, why are you asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get! Girl: Will you slap me? Boy: Hell nah, you crazy!! Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yeah girl! Girl: Oh Honeyyyš
After Marriage Now, read that from the bottom to the top.
Me: Now I know why Michael Jackson turned white.
The police: You finally figured it out.
What's white and can't climb a tree?
A refrigerator.
Johnny is walking along, and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, "Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?"
The priest says, "Because I'm a father."
Johnny says, "Yeah? Well, my old man's got three kids, and he don't wear his collar backwards."
The priest says, "You don't understand, son. I have thousands of children."
Johnny says, "You should wear your fuckin' trousers backwards."
What's the best part about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
An old lady was low on money because she had spent all of her money on clothes.
So she decided to go to the bank. She walked up to the guy at the desk. She asked if he could check her balance. He asked a few questions to the old lady, like her weight and her height. He asked her if she had done any exercise recently. She was very confused. She got angry and asked the man again to check her balance. So he stood up, walked next to her and pushed her over. He came to the conclusion that she had a low balance.
What's a cannibal's favorite dessert?
Lady fingers.
Two blondes fell in a hole and one asked, "It's dark in here, isn't it?" and the other one says, "I don't know, I can't see."
If I were a cat, I'd spend all nine of my lives with you.
You're probably getting tired of these gravity jokes... but I keep falling for them every time.
What's a skeleton's favorite food?
Spare ribs.
A man walks into a bar with a slab of concrete under his arm and says, "A beer please! and one for the road!"
What kind of fish comes out at night?
A starfish.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
As many as you like. They canāt change anything.
How did Helen Keller lose her virginity?
I told her the plunger was stuck in the toilet, but she didnāt listen...
What's the hardest thing about being a pedophile?
Just trying to fit in.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment.
What's the difference between an onion and a baby?
One makes you cry when you cut it up.
Knock knock. Who's there? Crippling depression. Crippling depression who? Me.