Joke jokes
What time is it when you can drive a house? Time to get a wheelchair.
Easy! Peasy! Lemon Squeezy! 🍋😂
Why did the silly boy take the Christmas tree to a barber?
Because his mother said it needed to be trimmed.
What did the angel say when it went to heaven? Well, halo there!
I guess that corn is a-maize-ing.
I was crying when my dad was cutting onions.
Onions was such a good dog.
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor?
Because it can't hit home.
You're so skinny that you use Chapstick as deodorant.
Why did little Susie fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms or legs.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Not Susie.
There's something on your chin... no, the 3rd one.
I would tell jokes about Kobe, but they would just crash and burn.
Some people ask why jokes exist. I say, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they have sex, and they make another one of you.
What is worse than 16 babies in 16 dumpsters? One baby in 16 dumpsters.
What starts with the letter M, ends with -arriage and is a man's favorite thing? Miscarriage. That joke never gets old, just like the baby.
What do you call a kid watching Star Wars by themselves?
Hans Solo.
Q: Where do you find a quadriplegic?
A: Right where you left 'em.
Dark humor is like cancer; it's funnier when kids get it.
My brother caught Covid last month.
First I knew about it was when he speed-dialled me at 3am and gasped, "I can't breathe, I can't breathe!"
I just told him straight: "Bro... you really need to work on your George Floyd jokes."
What's worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree?
1 dead baby hanging off 1000 trees.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.