Joke jokes
Christmas special
Me: Can you describe Mrs. Claus in 3 words? Santa: Ho ho ho.
What do you call a broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless!
What do you call a bear without an ear?
B.
Why did Susie get cut from the soccer team? She has no legs!
Who broke into my house by kicking down my door? Not Susie... But she still is in my basement, since she can't run!
Why did the vegetable cross the road? He didn't, he just sat there.
Hi person reading this.
How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, 1 to change the lightbulb, 9 to talk about how inspired they are?
What’s loud, red and goes at 200mph?
Paul Walker’s Porsche.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I give a fuck if my computer crashes.
What do you call pedophiles on a beach? Pedos in Speedos.
What animal is best at hitting a baseball? -- A bat.
Osama bin laden hit the towers because he couldnt fly straight
Why are obese jokes so offensive?
Because fat people have enough on their plate.
Why do people come on here just to say that we should not be making these jokes? They literally look this shit up just to complain.
I put someone in a wheelchair into the fire and called him "hot wheels."
Why did the basketball player not get on the bus?
Because he couldn’t be caught travelling! 😂
Why was 10 traumatized?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
What do you say to a guy with Down syndrome who’s on top of a sky scraper? "Jump!"
What do the Spanish people call child abuse? Pedrophile.
Why are orphans good at being a criminal?
Because they're not wanted.