Joke jokes
If I had a spray can, I would spray it on your ass. Because the instructions say to spray on flat surfaces.
Who says white people can't jump?
Have you seen the 911 footage?
What's flat chested and emo? A cutting board.
What do you call a Sikh man standing on a rope? Balan Singh.
How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb in the middle of the night?
I don't know, I can never see them.
Why does dark humor love orphans? Because the humor killed their parents.
dont make jokes about the accident my dad died in it he was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia :(
A guy runs into a bar and yells, “Quick! How tall is a penguin?”
The bartender says, “Three feet tall.”
The guy says, “Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!”
Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A. Ask your mother.
My sister said that you know that "that" is really cool. Then I said, "You know you can shut up."
Give a man a match; he will be warm for hours.
Set him on fire; he will be warm for the rest of his life.
Hey, what is the difference between a painting and a wife?
Only the wife was hung up.
What do Princess Diana and a landmine have in common? Both are easy to lay. Both costly and time-consuming to get rid of.
What did Saint Peter say to Diana when she got to the pearly gates? "Wipe that Merc off your face."
What's a cannibal's favorite dessert?
Lady fingers.
What do you call a skunk falling from the sky?
A stink bomb!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
The chicken next to him farted.
What were Stephen's last words? “Battery low.”
What do you call a broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless!
Christmas special
Me: Can you describe Mrs. Claus in 3 words? Santa: Ho ho ho.
What do you call a cup with a handle?
A mug! HAHA ha... My parents just got a divorce :(