Joke jokes
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
What do pedophiles call children in wheelchairs?
"Meals on Wheels."
What's blue and doesn't weigh much?
Light blue.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
The chicken next to him farted.
What do you call a cup with a handle?
A mug! HAHA ha... My parents just got a divorce :(
Why is flour retarded?
Because it's in-bread.
Me: I named my dog Five Miles so I can tell people I walk five miles every day.
Old man: I ran over five miles today.
What do you call a broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless!
Christmas special
Me: Can you describe Mrs. Claus in 3 words? Santa: Ho ho ho.
What do you call a skunk falling from the sky?
A stink bomb!
What were Stephen's last words? “Battery low.”
Why did the vegetable cross the road? He didn't, he just sat there.
What do you call a bear without an ear?
B.
Hi person reading this.
How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, 1 to change the lightbulb, 9 to talk about how inspired they are?
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I give a fuck if my computer crashes.
What do you call pedophiles on a beach? Pedos in Speedos.
Don't tell a Titanic joke, or you'll sink to a whole new low.
A white dude walks up to a Muslim and says, "So you're an Indian?" and the Muslim says, "No brotha, I'm not 7-Eleven, I'm 9/11."
I'm a rapist.