Joke jokes
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
What do pedophiles call children in wheelchairs?
"Meals on Wheels."
What do you call a broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless!
What do you call a skunk falling from the sky?
A stink bomb!
Christmas special
Me: Can you describe Mrs. Claus in 3 words? Santa: Ho ho ho.
What do you call a cup with a handle?
A mug! HAHA ha... My parents just got a divorce :(
Why did the chicken cross the road?
The chicken next to him farted.
What's blue and doesn't weigh much?
Light blue.
What do you call a bear without an ear?
B.
What did the racist serial killer say to the cop?
“Wait, you’re getting paid?”
Why did the vegetable cross the road? He didn't, he just sat there.
Hi person reading this.
How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, 1 to change the lightbulb, 9 to talk about how inspired they are?
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I give a fuck if my computer crashes.
What do you call pedophiles on a beach? Pedos in Speedos.
Don't tell a Titanic joke, or you'll sink to a whole new low.
What animal is best at hitting a baseball? -- A bat.
I'm a rapist.
How did Helen Keller lose her virginity?
I told her the plunger was stuck in the toilet, but she didn’t listen...
What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.