Joke jokes
What do you call a girl with one leg? Ilean.
A man broke into Stevie Wonder's house and threatened to kill his wife.
He just turned a blind eye.
I'm sorry, but I can only process text. Please provide the joke as text.
I like my girls like my file systems...
FAT and 16.
Hey, you might want to look at your butt because there's something coming out of Uranus.
I tried to write the shortest joke ever, so I wrote a two-word joke, which was "Dwarf Shortage." It's just so I could pack more jokes into the show.
My friend said, "Dude, if you don't put your desk in line with the column, you're gay." So he did it, and I said, "Well, I guess now he's straight." ;D
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
I told this knock knock joke to Helen Keller...
Me: Knock Knock
Her:
Yo mama's so hot when she walked into Subway she gave me a foot long!
What did one mouse say to the other mouse when it tried to steal the cheese?
"That's nacho cheese!"
Three gay men enter a bar in Iran. They don't come out.
Hi guys! In my opinion, I think your jokes are non-funny! Can you make more sense!
Btw, who writes jokes about orphans? Thanks for understanding!
What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked.
What kind of knight puts dumb jokes on the internet?
You!
Are you a lollipop? Because I can suck on you all day.
Are you an Oreo? Because I eat the cream first.
Are you a microwave? Because I’m trying to keep you quiet at 3:00 am.
Are you a sprinkler? Cause every time I see you I get wet.
Are you makeup? Cause I’d spend hours doing you.
Are you a guitar? Because I’d love to hear the noises you make when I play with you.
Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna ride you up and down.
Most restaurants are closed at night, but your legs aren’t.
I’m not a cashier, but you got a couple of things I wanna check out.
Are you Cinderella? Because I can see that dress coming off at midnight.
Are you a calendar? Because I want to pin you against the wall.
I don’t know what’s gotten into me lately, but I hope it’s you.
Are you a doughnut? Cause I wanna fill you with cream.
Are you a garden? Cause I want to plant some seeds inside of you.
Do you sing in the shower? Because if so, I need a private ticket of your concert.
Are your legs the twin towers? Because I’ll bomb what’s in between.
Are you a blanket? Because you’re on top of me every night.
Are you a phone? Cause I like to be on you 24/7.
Are you a roller coaster? Because the faster you go, the louder I scream.
I’m so jealous of your heart right now because it’s pounding inside of you and I’m not.
Are you a popsicle? Cause all I want to do is lick you up and down.
Are you a construction worker? Because you got me all bricked up.
Are you a fireman? Because you came in hot and left me wet.
Three people having sex is a threesome; two people is a twosome. So next time someone calls you "handsome," don't take it as a compliment.
Are you guys alright?
If you answered yes then you are wrong. You are all LEFT. Kill me, hmph.
(This joke was taken from that none funny b*tch on Britain's Got Talent)
What has a heart but no organs?
A deck of cards!
What's a penguin's favorite relative?
Aunt Arctic.