"What did the blind, dumb, paraplegic, dead, eight-year-old child get for their birthday?"
"Cancer."
Joke Jokes
What’d the fox say when he was asked to describe his wife?
“Hottie hottie hottie hoe!”
What do you call a woman with three boobs? Tres leches.
What do you call the girl with no arms and no legs?
Names.
Why did the feminist kill herself?
Because she was TRIGGERED.
A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here."
What’s loud, red and goes at 200mph?
Paul Walker’s Porsche.
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"If we don’t get some support people will think we are ball sacks..."
I tried writing with a dull pencil the other day, but there was no point.
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?
One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
...just kidding-
- none. They can't change anything.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One screams when you put it in a blender, and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.
Today is the day of 9/11, and we were in class making jokes, and somebody said, "That's sad." I was like, "Why?" And they said, "Today is the day the towers went down." I said, "Just like I did on your mum last night."
Who says white people can't jump?
Have you seen the 911 footage?
If I had a spray can, I would spray it on your ass. Because the instructions say to spray on flat surfaces.
Why does dark humor love orphans? Because the humor killed their parents.
A guy runs into a bar and yells, “Quick! How tall is a penguin?”
The bartender says, “Three feet tall.”
The guy says, “Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!”
My sister said that you know that "that" is really cool. Then I said, "You know you can shut up."
Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A. Ask your mother.
Hey, what is the difference between a painting and a wife?
Only the wife was hung up.
