Joke jokes
I tried writing with a dull pencil the other day, but there was no point.
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?
One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
...just kidding-
- none. They can't change anything.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One screams when you put it in a blender, and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.
Today is the day of 9/11, and we were in class making jokes, and somebody said, "That's sad." I was like, "Why?" And they said, "Today is the day the towers went down." I said, "Just like I did on your mum last night."
Who says white people can't jump?
Have you seen the 911 footage?
If I had a spray can, I would spray it on your ass. Because the instructions say to spray on flat surfaces.
Why does dark humor love orphans? Because the humor killed their parents.
A guy runs into a bar and yells, “Quick! How tall is a penguin?”
The bartender says, “Three feet tall.”
The guy says, “Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!”
My sister said that you know that "that" is really cool. Then I said, "You know you can shut up."
Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A. Ask your mother.
Hey, what is the difference between a painting and a wife?
Only the wife was hung up.
Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?
Her: Awww... Yes!!!
Me: Good, then stay 92.96 million miles away from me.
Q: What do you call 6 gay men in the army?
A: Rainbow Six Siege.
What’s a hairdresser’s favorite roast? Flat iron roast.
Give a man a match; he will be warm for hours.
Set him on fire; he will be warm for the rest of his life.
What's worse than placing 10 babies in a trash can?
Placing 1 baby in 10 trash cans...
A girl named Sally has no arms.
"KNOCK KNOCK"
She never answered...
I told a blind man to read more, so he grabbed my arm and read the whole dictionary.
Me: What did one toilet say to the other?
You: What?
Me: You look flushed!
I came here to laugh.