Joke jokes
Why couldn’t 3 ask 4 on a date?
Because he was 2 squared.
So I went to the binoculars shop the other day. Tell you what, they saw me coming.
What do you call the worst joke ever?
Well, according to my mom, I am.
What do you get when I get mixed with coffee?
De-presso.
What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip off!
My sister gives her hamster to my brother since she thinks I'm irresponsible, so I throw it out the window.
Why did piglet go to the bathroom?
To search for Poo.
"You have to be more patient!" "Will it take a long time?"
What's the difference between a Palestinian and SpongeBob's Sandy Cheeks?
One is living in a bubble, the other one in rubble.
I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.
A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"
What joke could orphan's never understand?
Your Mom jokes.
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
What do you call a FAT Man under 5'9"?
A JUMBO shrimp.
What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe?
Fur Traders.
Know what a 6.9 is?
Another good thing screwed up by a period.
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."
"Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."
"Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."
"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."
"Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."
"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."
I got kicked out of the library for putting the Women's Rights book in the fantasy section.
Somebody told me a chemistry joke. I thought it was sodium funny, I slapped my neon that one.
What's worse than a baby in a trash can?
A trash can in a baby.
Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks, “A Bloody Mary?”
The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water for me.”
“Hot water?”
“I found a tampon out back and want to make tea.”