Joke jokes
Why couldn’t 3 ask 4 on a date?
Because he was 2 squared.
Did you know that a lot of graves are put in churchyards?
Yeah, they're pretty holey.
Why did piglet go to the bathroom?
To search for Poo.
My only friend who actually cares: "Stop making suicide jokes, I’m really concerned!"
Me: Okay, I’ll cut it out.
"You have to be more patient!" "Will it take a long time?"
What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?
Both are sick and twisted.
What’s the best part about sex with twenty eight year olds?
There are twenty of them.
What separates bad jokes from dad jokes?
Condoms.
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a bathtub?
Throw them some laundry.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a school shooter?
A school shooter actually makes an impact on its targets.
A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, "Why are you crying my son?" "My parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died." "It's just not your day today is it?" Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.
Used to laugh at Michael Jackson for wearing gloves and a mask...
Yet here I am, stuck at home in this COVID-19 "Thriller," beating it...
What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?
A pimple will wait until you're 12 years old to come on your face.
What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.
What do you call a rich Chinese person? Cha-ching!
Ask Siri what rich North Koreans are there.
Siri: "I could not find anything for this question."
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because the last one to have a dream got shot. (Martin Luther King joke)
Israel and Palestine jokes are hard at these times.
It’s all about execution.
Did you hear about the dyslexic American police officer?
He shot a Ginger.
What was Hitler’s favorite sex position?
Sixty nein.
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."
"Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."
"Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."
"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."
"Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."
"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."