Joke jokes

What do you call a person who doesn't masturbate?

A liar.

What concert only costs 45 cents?

50 Cent featuring Nickelback.

"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."

"Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."

"Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."

"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."

"Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."

"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."

"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."

I got kicked out of the library for putting the Women's Rights book in the fantasy section.

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-of-puss.

What’s green and orange and sits at the bottom of the swimming pool?

A baby with burst armbands.

Somebody told me a chemistry joke. I thought it was sodium funny, I slapped my neon that one.

What's worse than a baby in a trash can?

A trash can in a baby.

Imagine if on April first the government says, "Hahhaha, you all fell for it. Covid-19 is fake; we actually killed all those people, lol."

Déjà Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.

What do you call a cow eating grass?

A Lawn Moo-er.

What's the difference between a feminist and a pencil?

One of them has a POINT:)

Two chinamen walk into a bar. The landlord says, "Why the same face?"

What do you call a running chicken?

Scared.

Vagina jokes aren’t funny, period.

Hey, did you know that 9/11 won a Grammy?

Yes, best comedy award.

I hate the term feminazi. It is offensive to real Nazis.

I bet for Halloween you were a Goblin. How about you gobble deez nuts?

Cremation:

My last hope for a smoking hot body.

About the guy who gave Stevie Wonder a cheese grater...

He thought it was the most violent book he'd ever read.