Joke jokes

This is NOT my joke. I found it on Google. It's a texting joke.

Mom: Son, your grandma just passed away LOL.

Son: Mom, what do you mean LOL? That means laughing out loud.

Mom: Oh no, I thought that meant lots of love. I have to text everyone back!!!!

I saw my friend hang themselves. My response was, I guess they wanted to hang with someone.

The joke is my life.

What did the maxi pad say to the fart? "You are the wind beneath my wings."

People joke about 9/11, but it's not funny. My dad died in 9/11. Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.

Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?

Because when she gets to 69 there's a frog in her throat.

This page could use more "butt quack" jokes.

what do you call a chicken who crossed the road?........suicidal.

I told my mum the refrigerator was running, so she got dressed and ran after it...

4, 6, 8, and 9 have all been killed. 2, 3, 5, 7, and 11 are the prime suspects.

I was hit on by President Kennedy, too bad I shot him down.

Teacher: What's your favorite animal?

Me: Desert Eagle.

Teacher: Why?

Me: 'Cause it fits in my backpack.

Oh, my fat joke offended you? Which one of your chins did I hurt?

I went to the zoo the other day. The only animal there was a dog. It was a Shih-tzu (shit zoo).

A funny joke scenario.

Person 1: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?

Person 2: Because he had no "body" to go with.

Person 1: Because he was ugly, fat, and nobody liked him.

What do you call an Indian in a Lamborghini?

CURRY in a hurry.

What do you call 2 Indians on a dating website? Connect the dots.

What do kids and drugs have in common? I sell both of them.

I was going to tell a joke about babies, but I decided to abort.

What do you call a patronizing criminal walking down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.