Joke jokes
What's the difference between a man and a table?
The table doesn't cry when I break its legs.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she's a woman.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? Matt.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? Bob.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.
"I hate when people make 9/11 jokes because my grandfather died during the Twin Tower attacks. He was the best pilot in Saudi Arabia."
"Guess how I got to Germany so fast?"
"Because I was Russian!"
Memes
MORE MORE DAD JOKES
Rape jokes are the funniest thing to ever exist.
What is 80 feet wide and has 22 teeth?
Answer: The front row of a Trump Rally!
I can find the end of time before I find your hairline.
What did a terrorist say when New York didn't want his food?
"Here Comes The Airplane!"
Why is a sick person and California similar? They tend to burn up.
Your hairline looks like someone tried to erase it using Microsoft Paint.
Why did the orphan sleep outside? ... Because he gets to wake up to Mother Nature.
You're so skinny, you could travel through a fax!
What's the only good thing about being an orphan?
All snacks are family sized!
What's the best part about a dead hooker? The second hour is free!
If you're depressed and you're crying, like this joke.
Why didn't Logan Paul high five the Asian man? Because he loves to leave Asians hanging.
My sister asked me what is dark humor. I asked what does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? "Kinder Surprise!"
"Déjà moo": The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
What’s the difference between depression and your ex?
Depression fucks you harder.