Joke jokes
I live in a world made of cheese. Someone stubbed their toe and screamed, "Cheese-its, Christ!"
What was the last thing that went through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
Lololol get it? They fell from like 100 feet.
What's the difference between a mole and a priest?
One will till your 13 to put hairs on your face.
My dad always used to beat me, but he never beat cancer.
I’m posting this again cuz I can and cuz it got thumbs downs and cuz I’m bored. Stop being sensitive snowflakes and get a sense of humor. Geez.
What gun isn’t allowed in Africa? A water gun.
What do you call the Spanish translation of the 9th Star Wars movie?
Rogue Juan.
What’s red, slimy, and makes my wife scream? Two failed abortions!
Once, I ate a skunk. It was hard because I didn't get it down the whole way.
I love how all these jokes about different accidents have happened, but why isn't anyone writing about how much of an accident we all were?
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Steve!"
"Steve who?"
Steve cries, aware that his grandmother's Alzheimer's has reached a point where she can no longer remember him.
Rhydon- son.
Rhydon? - mum.
RHYDON DEEZ NUTS! - son.
Jeez, ur like ur father in bed- mum.
XD
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the toilet? Because the “p” is silent.
Why were the people during 9/11 mad? They ordered 2 sausage pizzas, but instead they got 2 plane pizzas.
Two tomatoes are walking on a road. Then a car runs over one of them, and the other says: "Hi, ketchup!"
When you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Someone was walking down the street and they saw some neat...
"Diarrhea cha cha cha, Diarrheal cha cha cha!"
What do you call an Asian that steals cars? Tommy toke a motor.
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
What is a big animal 🦓? A bat 🦇!
I want to do Uranus. (tounge emoji) (wet emoji)