Joke jokes

What’s the difference between anal sex and vegetables? One is cruel to the person getting it in, the other is vegetables.

Two tomatoes are walking on a road. Then a car runs over one of them, and the other says: "Hi, ketchup!"

What was the last thing that went through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?

Their ankles.

Lololol get it? They fell from like 100 feet.

When you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

My mom told me that she and the owner of a Chinese restaurant made a deal. Now we get free Chinese food. So I ask my mom why do we get free Chinese food? Then my mom said, "I love him long time."

You don't have any balls.

Why don’t you peel a banana?

It’s too hard to kill your nana.

Why can't white people post jokes about making fun of black people, but black people can post jokes about making fun of white people?

Because white people have white privilege.

I got no joke.

What did Darth Trump Vader say to evil emperor Putin?

"Yesssss Massager!"

What do you call an Asian that steals cars? Tommy toke a motor.

Why did Sarah call off the swing? Because she has no arms.

Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

What's the difference between a mole and a priest?

One will till your 13 to put hairs on your face.

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the toilet? Because the “p” is silent.

My dad always used to beat me, but he never beat cancer.

I love how all these jokes about different accidents have happened, but why isn't anyone writing about how much of an accident we all were?

Once, I ate a skunk. It was hard because I didn't get it down the whole way.

Rhydon- son.

Rhydon? - mum.

RHYDON DEEZ NUTS! - son.

Jeez, ur like ur father in bed- mum.

XD

Why were the people during 9/11 mad? They ordered 2 sausage pizzas, but instead they got 2 plane pizzas.

What is a big animal 🦓? A bat 🦇!