Joke jokes
What's the difference between cancer and a Nazi? Cancer doesn't discriminate.
Why was 6 so afraid of 7?
7 killed 6's parents.
8008135 is my favorite number.
The worst ratio is 6:9.
And last but not least, "Why was six afraid of seven?" Seven eight nine. But why was six with nine? Because when you put them together, you get 69. But why was six mad at nine? Because Nine eight six, too.
An older retired couple - the wife had grown tired of her husband farting in bed each night. One morning she put some chicken parts under the blankets in bed next to him and went off to make some coffee.
A few minutes later she hears a loud fart followed by a blood curdling scream. He comes out after a while and says, "Hon, you were right that I would fart my guts out. Took me the longest to put them back in."
What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.
Who are the fastest readers of all time?
People who jumped out of the Twin Towers. Why? Because they went through 13 stories within 5 seconds.
What had more brains than Hitler? The wall behind him.
I once read a book on antigravity, it was impossible to put down.
Have you walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
Oh, neither did he.
I mean I'd tell you a joke about the pizza I ate, but it's just too cheesy.
What do you call a dead pine tree? A Nevergreen!
What's the difference between an ISIS militant base and a Pakistani children's school?
I don't know, I just fly the drone.
I once met a skeleton. I asked if I could tell him a joke. He agreed. I told it to him. He found it quite “humerus”.
Why can't the toilet paper cross the road? It was stuck in a crack.
What’s the best part about twenty-eight year olds?
There’s twenty of them.
Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.
Why couldn't she get up? Because she had no friends.
What do you call a single bisexual?
All bi myself.
What's brown and rather bad for your dental health?
- A baseball bat.
Q: You want to know why I don’t make jokes about 9/11?
A: They tend to crash and burn.
What do you call a girl skeleton dancing?
A bone-étit.