Joke

Joke jokes

Two men walked into a bar, and one man asked for H20, and the other man asked for H20 too.

Only one man came out alive.

What do you call a school shooting survivor who grows up to be a prostitute on the West Coast?

A Sandy Hooker

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  • A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. They come across an old shack with three burlap sacks. They each hop into one of them. The police come and kick the one with the brunette in it. She goes, "Mew, mew." The police say, "Oh, it's just a bag of kittens." Then they kick the one with the redhead. "Woof, woof." They think, "Oh, it's just a bag of puppies." Then they kick the one with the blonde in it. She goes, "POTATOES!!" And gets arrested.

    How can you tell the difference between a Christian priest and a zit?

    One waits until you're twelve to come on your face.

    Hey mum, why do people keep suddenly dying in our family?

    Mum?

    Mum?

    Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum!

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  • What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of salad?

    A chicken sees a salad (chicken Caesar salad).

    Did you know what my grandpa wanted for Christmas? A new ass because his one has a crack on it.

    In heaven, the Englishman is responsible for jokes, the Italian man for food, and the German man for law and order. In hell, the Englishman is responsible for food, the Italian man for law and order, and the German man for jokes.

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  • The secret to dark humor is the delivery... oh wait, the baby was stillborn.

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