Joke jokes
What do you call a flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
What’s the difference between depression and your ex?
Depression fucks you harder.
What do you call a room full of disabled people with epilepsy?
A seizure salad.
I think I'm a red zebra!! Cuz I'm stripped red, iykwim.
Not a joke, but here's a good workout, I guess:
Sit-ups: 50
Push-ups: 40
Squats: 30
Do 5 sets.
This isn’t much of a joke, but here's a pickup line. Are you a marshmallow? Because I wanna put my stick in you.
How does a skeleton call his friends?
On the tele-bone!
There are 206 bones in my body.
When I look at you, it becomes 207.
Imagine there’s a funny joke here. Imagine it? Great! Now check yourself into an insane asylum because you’re schizophrenic.
Imagine there's a funny joke here... imagined it? Great! Now check yourself into an insane asylum because you're schizophrenic.
What's the difference between a seal and a special kid?
They both go: "Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!"
Have you heard of the current event in Africa?
It’s known as the Hunger Games.
I hate it when you say your life is a joke because a joke actually has meaning.
Asian pregnancy test:
Stick a Rubix cube into pussy.
Wait 30 seconds, if it's solved then there's a little Asian in there.
A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE FUCK FUCKED MY WIFE!”
A man in the back responds, “YOU AIN'T GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!”
Hahah, funny joke!
A Russian walked into a bar... Unlucky for him I guess, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.
What do you get when you mix a grizzly bear and milk? Mauled.
What's Harry Potter's favorite way of going down a hill?
Walking. JK, Rowling.
Give a man a plane ticket and he flies for the day.
Push him out of the plane at 3,000 feet and he'll fly for the rest of his life.