Joke jokes

Hi, this is Chloe, and I am about to tell you about my joke.

Why did the cow cross the road? Because to get to the other side.

Teacher: Why do people snore?

Me: Because they sleep.

Here’s a joke, go look in a mirror.

What's the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person?

They both hang...

What do you call it when a town on the south coast of England sprouts legs and starts walking around the country?

A walkie-Torquay.

Why are all these pathetic jokes about school shootings?😒 You all are so fucking pathetic... Humanity is officially gone, stupid bitches...

Are you a red light? Because I stop every time I see you.

You want to hear a joke?

Your mom.

What does an orphan call home?

Nothing. 🤣

It's only rape.

If she finds out.

Ah, you wanna read a cheeseburger joke for your friends to hear.

Nah, bro, you're just going to get cheese on your burger.

Three guys are in the woods, a really smart guy, an average guy, and a really dumb guy. They're bored, so the smart guy decides to go hunting. A little while later he comes back with a deer. The average guy asks, "How did you do that?" The really smart guy says, "I see deer tracks, I follow deer tracks, I see deer, I shoot deer." The average guy says, "I think I understand," and leaves. A little bit later he comes back with a raccoon. The really dumb guy goes *gasp*, "How did you do that!?" And the average looks at him funny and says, "Well, I see raccoon tracks, I follow raccoon tracks, I see raccoon, I shoot raccoon." The super dumb guy thinks for a second and says, "Oooohh, ok, I think I can do that..." and leaves.

Hours pass, and the guy finally returns, hurt, bloody, and horribly mangled. They run to help him. Finally, one of the guys asks him what happened. This is what he said: "I see train tracks, I follow train tracks, I see train, I shoot train. But train keep coming."

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

'Cause 7 8 9.

What does a baby computer call its father? Data.

This joke is about koala bears. It is high koala-ty.

I went to a museum and saw clocks. The owner told me these were lying clocks.

"This is God's clock. It never moved because he never lied."

"This is your clock. It moved 3 times because you lied 3 times."

I asked where is President Trump's clock. He said it was at the equator, spinning super fast for those who were on fire. I laughed so hard because it was so true!

Why does a cow love music?

Because it can play a moo-sical instrument.

Kid: Dad, where do you work?

Dad: I.C.U.P.

Kid: HAHAHAH!!!! See you pee.

He: I am 60 and I have to slog 12 hours a day to make a living. Do you call it life?

She: I am 28 and still a virgin, do you call it life?

Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?

It got stuck in the crack.