Joke jokes
What kind of star will come out in the daytime?
A starfish! 🐟🐠🐡🦐🦞🦀🦑🐙🦂
What did the rope say to my depressed ass?
~ Hey, you wanna hang?
What do you call an acid with a bad attitude?
A-Mean-O-Acid.
What's the difference between a screw and a hooker? You can't unscrew the hooker.
Why did the koala cross the road?
To get to the big tree.
What do a blonde and a doorknob have in common?
Everyone gets a turn ;)
A lady walks into a dentist's office, sits on the counter, and spreads her legs. The dentist says, "I think you have the wrong idea." The lady replies, "Last week you gave my husband his false teeth; now you can get them out."
What did the pencil say to the piece of paper? You FLAT.
What did the spoon say to the pancake batter? You THICK.
How do you call a cow’s butt? A dairy-air.
What’s yellow and can’t swim? A school bus.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Make him clap until his parents come back.
What did Darth Trump Vader say to evil emperor Putin?
"Yesssss Massager!"
Dam, my balls itch like hell.
There was a family, the father's name was Mad, the mother is Brain, the brother's name is Nobody and the sister's name is Everybody.
One day, Nobody killed Everybody, and the father ran to the police's office and screamed, "NOBODY KILLED EVERYBODY!!!!!"
"Sir, are you okay?" The police asked.
"I said, NOBODY KILLED EVERYBODYYYYY!!!!!" The father yelled even louder.
"Are you mad?" The police asked.
"Yes, because my name is Mad!" The father exclaimed.
"Where's your brain?" Asked the police.
"At home because my wife name is Brain," the father said. The police fell down due to the confusion.
A blonde walks into the doctor's office. She tells the doctor, "My boyfriend has dandruff."
The doctor tells her to use Head and Shoulders. She leaves. About an hour later, the doctor's phone rings. He answers, it's the blonde. The doctor asks how he can help her. "Well doctor, I understand head, but how do you 'hove' shoulders?"
What’s one thing you can say at a funeral and during sex?
She was too young.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
Because she got hit by a bus.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
School. School is a slavery joke and a Nazi joke combined.
If 7 8 9, why was 10 scared?
Because he was between 9 11.
The difference between my life and a joke is that a joke has meaning.