Joke jokes
What’s one thing you can say at a funeral and during sex?
She was too young.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
Because she got hit by a bus.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
School. School is a slavery joke and a Nazi joke combined.
If 7 8 9, why was 10 scared?
Because he was between 9 11.
The difference between my life and a joke is that a joke has meaning.
We are always joking around about being adopted, when really we are still living in the orphanage.
I liked the chocolate mousse cake joke.
Did you?
What goes 200 mph and is red?
Babies in a blender.
What is the pedophile's favorite shoe?
White vans.
What's the difference between dad jokes and bad jokes?
The letter b.
I said "Uranus!" and the girl beside me face-palmed. I wonder what I did wrong?
Bill gets home from work late again, and Susan is angry. She hollers at Bill, "I AM FURIOUS. When I go outside tomorrow, there better be something that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds!" Bill says, "Ok." The next morning there is a box outside! Susan opens it. It's a scale! Bill hasn't been seen since October 2, 2002.
What did Papyrus say when Sans served spaghetti to Frisk?
BONE-Appetit!
What did the nose say to the finger?
"Stop picking me!"
Why can't blind people fish?
Because it was "see food."
So, I tell my friend a pun about Bach. She freaks out. Then I say, "I hope that wasn't too much to Handel. Don't let it Strauss you out."
For all of my musicians out there!
What would fall out of a tree first, a depressed person or a feather?
Answer: The feather wouldn't. The rope would stop the person from falling all the way.
Hey! My name is Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?
Professor Poopypants!!!