I was gonna tell a joke about a dead fetus, but I decided to abort it.
Joke Jokes
I was gonna do a school shooter joke, but it was aimed at younger audiences.
I was thinking of a good accident joke, and I asked my sister. She said, "you."
What are you good at?
Dying. Dammit, I fail at that too.
Uranus? More like urine is gassy! (Uranus is urine, by the way.)
I’m on top of things. Would you like to be one of them?
Your legs are just like Oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat what's in between.
Morbid jokes are just like girlfriends. Not everyone gets it.
What is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
My sister gives her hamster to my brother since she thinks I'm irresponsible, so I throw it out the window.
Why did the skunk cross the road?
To get to the odor side!
What’s the difference between a motorcycle and a mutilated body?
I don’t have a motorcycle in my garage.
What animal has more lives than a cat?
A frog. It croaks every night.
What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?
A Cock-a-POODLE-Doo!
Two nuts were chasing each other. One said to the other, "I'm-a cashew!"
Two nuts were walking down the street, and one was a-salted!
What do cannibals call pregnant women? A kinder surprise.
What do you get when the queen farts a noble gas?
What do you get when a dino farts? A blast from the past.
Why are ninja farts so dangerous? They are silent but deadly.
Some dude: Water you thinking?
Me: You're drowning in my head.
