Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
What do you call a snail without a shell?
Dead.
"Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?"
"To the morgue."
"But I'm not dead yet!"
"But we're not there yet."
What’s red, slimy, and makes my wife scream? Two failed abortions!
What’s twelve inches and white?
Nothing.
Why does it take longer for women to orgasm than men?
Who cares?
Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.
What did the banana say to the peel?
“Let’s split!”
I would tell you a joke about a clock, but it’s a waste of time! 😄😄
Dad, there was one day I was playing jump rope with a pig, and then I made pulled pork out of him.
Son, he is dinner.
How are school shooting victims and school shooting jokes similar?
They never get old.
*funny joke about dicks*
Have you ever had Ethiopian food??
Neither have they.
What's red, 6 inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry when I feed it to her?
Her miscarriage.
This is a joke about Ms. Ploopatoink, a made-up character who is a pink fluffy pony who loves toilet paper.
Why is Ms. Ploopatoink like a toilet plunger?
They both jump in the toilet!
What do you call a dick playing badminton?
A shuttlecock.
What was the winning play at the leper football game?
A hand off up the middle.
What do you call a band made of cheese?
Grate That!
What do you call a clever clock?
Clockwise.
What did the dick say to the asshole?
You need another dick.