Joke jokes
Why did Sarah fall off a skyscraper?
Because she made her dad mad.
What do you call a bunch of white people in an elevator?
A box of crackers.
So my friend and I went camping at a Cold Lake Campground and he jumped into it without any warning, and so I asked him, "Wat-er you doing?"
What's black and sits on the bottom of the stairs to the cellar?
Steven Hawking where the experiments went wrong.
A Mexican magician said he would disappear on the count of three. He said, "Uno, dos," and disappeared without a tres!
Where do pencils go on holiday?
Pencilvania! (Pennsylvania)
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down.
What is the hardest part of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
What do you call a joke without a punchline?
What's red and in a corner?
A baby with a razor blade.
What's green and in a corner?
The same baby three weeks later.
"Knock knock?"
"Mustache."
"I mustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later!"
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because chickens are mindless creatures and do not know any better.
You are American when you walk into the bathroom, and you are American when you walk out.
But do you know what you are when you're in the bathroom? European.
Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, "I'm hit! I think I've lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" asks the other.
"I'm positive!"
What do you call it when a midget waves at you?
A microwave.
Why did the child cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
We were at a restaurant today, and my dad was talking about a place called Sea Ranch.
I asked, "What do they raise there? Sea horses?"
Why did the girl fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
A blind man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies with, "I'm blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde." Then says, "Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?" The blind guy responds with, "No, I don't wanna tell it that many times."
Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven is a registered six offender.