it's jokes
You ever hear of a reverse exorcism?
It's where the devil tells the priest to get out of the child.
Guys, can we change pride month to another month, please? My birthday is in June, and I'm not gay, and my friends keep making fun of me. I think we should change it to March because my brother's birthday is in March, and that'd be funny.
What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.
What's all fuzzy, warm, and laughing? The person who snapped its neck and put it into the blender.
My mom tells me to stop with the suicide jokes, and I replied with, "It's not that deep."
What time is it when you cannot do anything?
What time is it?
Man 1: Hey, I heard you survived a school shooting. What was it like?
Man 2: People were screaming and running everywhere. I was only able to get a few of them.
"Jiggle balls, jiggle balls, jiggle all the way."
"Dr. Squatch will heal the itch, and know it goes away, hey!"
My friend put an action toy and called it Kobe and put it on a drone. I realized that my friend didn't know how to fly a drone.
(On their 1-2 loss to Watford) Ty: Well, we mustn't forget that it's been raining so...
Robbie: It's been raining???
Ty: Yeah!
Robbie: Are you being serious??? It's raining for both teams!
Yo momma is so fat, when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number."
How many East Asians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Tu.
I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"
He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."
Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.
Did you hear that Stephen Hawking wrote a new book? It's called "Around The House in Eighty Days."
Karien: Mom, I don't care if you're dating a new guy, I want you and Dad to be together!
Daiana: Sometimes things don't work out, like when it didn't work between your father and me. Time to move on, Karien.
Karien: Well I'm not moving on! I can't believe you love someone else!
Daiana: Karien, just give him a chance. His name is Derek, he loves cooking, cleaning, and anything that has you doing something.
Karien: That is so boring!
Daiana: Well just work with me please?
Karien: I'll give you a day... 24 hours, Mom!
White people: *come to America, meet natives and take food, kill them, rape them, and enslave them.*
Natives: Can y-
White people: Hey, you remember all that horrible sh*t we did to you? Let's have a good laugh about it over dinner with your buddies and my new wives.
For those of you greener than a Mexican's card when it comes to this website, it's darker than the unemployment line.
The Stephen Hawking space telescope will be launched next year. Apparently, it will have four wheels and run off Windows 7.
Why do people make fun of you jokes in worst jokes ever? Because it is called "worst jokes ever."
A man walked into a library. He asked the librarian, "Have you got a book on how to commit suicide?" The librarian replied, "No, you'd never bring it back!"