it's jokes

Why did not the toilet paper make it across the road to escape the corono virise?

So, I got a paper towel roll, ripped it, but started to fart when I ripped it off, and stopped farting when I got it off the roll, and then I said, "I guess that's why it's called ripping one!"

Once, I ate a skunk. It was hard because I didn't get it down the whole way.

I'm hertophobic.

It means I'm allergic to straights.

I lent my sister my bed. The next morning, she told me it worked like a dream.

I had a disability where I kept pronouncing my "g" as an "r", so one day, I said I liked grapes. Of course, I pronounced it "I like rapes." I was kicked out of preschool.

I molested a child today, and it felt quite lovely on my penis! 👍

I wish my grass was emo so it would cut itself.

What’s the difference between anal sex and vegetables? One is cruel to the person getting it in, the other is vegetables.

Why don’t you peel a banana?

It’s too hard to kill your nana.

Someone telling a joke:

Boy: "My parents are dead."

Girl: "My grandad is too."

Orphan who listened to it: "That joke is dead!"

Person who told the joke: "So is your family!"

What was the last thing that went through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?

Their ankles.

Lololol get it? They fell from like 100 feet.

I live in a world made of cheese. Someone stubbed their toe and screamed, "Cheese-its, Christ!"

Your mom is so fat she won't be in a coffin when she dies. She won't fit in it.

When Caesar’s wife told him she dreamed he should beware the Ides of March, he scoffed and said, “What? It’s not like I’m gonna be stabbed 23 times by my best buddies!”

What's the funniest thing you ever read? For me it was when Rapboat told me he was a legit rapper.

What did the rapper say to his BLENDER?

"Mix it up, yo!"

Would it be wrong of me to yell “Jenga!” or “Timber!” while my class is watching a 9/11 documentary?

Unless Israel wants to become Hell Aviv, it would put itself on a tight leash, delivered specially from Uncle Sam.

I just got my doctor's test results and I'm really upset about it. Turns out, I'm not gonna be a doctor.