it's jokes

Panda

  • A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.

    Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"

    The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."

  • 1
  • Phone Call

  • Prince might be with a new girl, but he still wants Gwen, who doesn't? Other half.

    Gwen on the phone with Prince: Prince, stop sending me letters, poems, and memes through Gmail. We broke up, it's over!

    Prince on the phone with Gwen: I know, but that new girl that I been seeing is not you! I miss you a lot! Please come back to me.

    Gwen on the phone with Prince: I'm gonna hang up now!

    Prince on the phone with Gwen: PLEASE DON'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Gwen on the phone with Prince: Sorry, I can't hear you...you're breaking up...what?!

    Prince on the phone with Gwen: Gwen! DO NOT HANG UP !!!!!!!!

    Gwen on the phone with Prince: Okay...bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • 7
  • Song

  • A song about yellow and blue beans.

    Engines shut off when accelerating, Babu is wearing a hat and gloves. Rain is like honey. Bob remembered the sentence as best he could. Latex Master has reached the ninth level. These are weapons of atheism in the narrow sense.

    Long live the world! Cars, cars everywhere! Bob Perselbaum resisted. It quickly turns yellow and blue. Little Roach, look, Bob, of course!

    Glory comes and loss is great. Three types of copper filling. The stairs are covered with lego pieces, Take a closer look at the snowman, a type of flowering plant. There is no science that saves time from fog. "The war against slavery!" - The Complete Guide to Bob Fuller.

    Long live the world! Cars, cars everywhere! Bob Perselbaum resisted. It quickly turns yellow and blue. Hang a laminate. Bob, that's right!

  • 0
  • Date

  • When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.

  • 0
  • Shepherd

  • Q: Ten shepherds out in the sheep field. How do you know which one's gay?

    A: He's the one the sheep fuck!

    (I'm gay, and I know this joke is demeaning and inappropriate, but I still think it's funny as a 2-inch penis.)

  • 0
  • Bagel

  • "Knock knock."

    "Who's there?"

    "Bagel."

    "Bagel who?"

    "Toast, it's me, your arch-nemesis, Bagel, here to make up! Bye!"

    Anxiety

  • I asked the librarian if they had any books on anxiety.

    She replied with, "Won't you worry a lot about returning it late?"

    Bi

  • Frenid: R u gay?

    Me: Yes u

    Frenid: No I am bi.

    Me: Dang it!

    Frenid: What?

    Me: I like u.

    Frenid: Ok I like u to.

  • 2
  • Panda

  • A panda walks into a bar. He asked the bartender for a sandwich and then proceeds to shoot him, then leaves the bar. Later on, after asking witnesses, the police track down the panda and take him to the station. They question him and ask, “Why’d you do it?” The panda replied, “It’s what pandas do, look it up.” So they did, they went on Wikipedia, and there it was: Pandas eat shoots and leaves.

  • 0
  • Weed

  • Peaches-REMAKE-By-Justin Beiber and watersharky Music Productions-

    I got my peaches out in Georgia (oh, yeah, shit)

    I get my weed from California (that's that shit)

    I took my chick up to the North, yeah (badass bitch)

    I get my light right from the source, yeah (yeah, that's it)

    And I see you (oh), the way I breathe you in (in), it's the texture of your skin

    I wanna wrap my arms around you, baby, never let you go, oh

    And I say, oh, there's nothing like your touch

    It's the way you lift me up, yeah

    And I'll be right here with you 'til the end

    I got my peaches out in Georgia (oh, yeah, shit)

    I get my weed from California (that's that shit)

    I took my chick up to the North, yeah (badass bitch)

    I get my light right from the source, yeah (yeah, that's it)

    You ain't sure yet, but I'm for ya

    All I could want, all I can wish for

    Nights alone that we miss more

    And days we save as souvenirs

    There's no time, I wanna make more time

    And give you my whole life

    I left my girl, I'm in Mallorca

    Hate to leave her, call it torture

    Remember when I couldn't hold her

    Left her baggage for Rimowa

    I got my peaches out in Georgia (oh, yeah, shit)

    I get my weed from California (that's that shit)

    I took my chick up to the North, yeah (badass bitch)

    I get my light right from the source, yeah (yeah, that's it)

    I get the feeling, so I'm sure (sure)

    Hand in my hand because I'm yours

    I can't, I can't pretend, I can't ignore you're right for me

    Don't think you wanna know just where I've been, oh

    Done being distracted

    The one I need is right in my arms (oh)

    Your kisses taste the sweetest with mine

    And I'll be right here with you 'til end of time

    I got my peaches out in Georgia (oh, yeah, shit)

    I get my weed from California (that's that shit)

    I took my chick up to the North, yeah (badass bitch)

    I get my light right from the source, yeah (yeah, that's it)

    I got my peaches out in Georgia (oh, yeah, shit)

    I get my weed from California (that's that shit)

    I took my chick up to the North, yeah (badass bitch)

    (I get my light right from the source, yeah, yeah)

    I got my peaches out in Georgia (oh, yeah, shit)

    I get my weed from California (that's that shit)

    I took my chick up to the North, yeah (badass bitch)

    I get my light right from the source, yeah (yeah, that's it)

    I got my peaches out in Georgia (oh, yeah, shit)

    I get my weed from California (that's that shit)

    I took my chick up to the North, yeah (badass bitch)

    I get my light right from the source, yeah (yeah, that's it).

    Orphan

  • Orphans have feelings too, but I don't understand why it's fun to make fun of them, right?