it's jokes

Yo hairline is so bad it looks like a fat person's stomach.

I love these orphan jokes. It's not like they're gonna go tell their parents. ☠

What should I write a joke about? Name the subject, and I’ll make a joke about it.

I got barred from Weight Watchers today.

It wasn't my fault; it was the fat ass next to me who spilled her box of Maltesers onto the floor in the middle of the room. All I did was say that it was the funniest game of Hungry Hungry Hippos that I have ever seen.

Adopting a kid is like having a yard sale! I mean, if the owners don't want it anymore, what makes you think I want it?

My mom said she would miss me if I committed suicide, so we made it double.

Sad news, my obese parrot died today.

Mind you, it's a huge weight off my shoulders.

Why did the math book look so sad?

Because it has many problems.

Why does Little Johnny hate hot dogs?

It reminds him of last night.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to get to the house. They turned the lights out. Jill shouts, "It's a dildo, WTF?"

If you're an orphan, it must be pretty hard taking "your mom" jokes.

Why is a ball rolling when you put it on a hill?

Because it is circle.

My money don't jiggle jiggle, it folds.

I want to see you wiggle wiggle, for sure.

A guy says to his dog, "Where are you?" The dog was actually dead, bro.

I made a website for orphans.

It does not have a home page.

I was in my first space mission for NASA. As we were orbiting the asteroid belt, I saw a figure. I couldn’t tell who it was, but he spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. He said, “I’m looking for my freekicks and penalties, can you help me find them?” We then decided to aid him.

I wish my grass was emo, then it would cut for me.

Me being raped is like my birth certificate; it doesn't expire.

Women have so much evil in their blood that God has to drain it once a month. Hehehehehe

Joe Mama is so fat that when she sat on an iPhone, it turned into an iPod.