it's jokes

I hate it when people think I'm a boy because of my short hair. I mean, what did you expect? I'm gay, of course, I have short hair.

How many tickles does it take for an octopus to laugh?

Hey, look, it's that "TRAINS gender" guy. He says, "I like trains." Uh oh!

Where is the pocket?

It is there, the pocket.

I lent my calculator to a friend. He is using it to this day.

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

The hooker can wash out her crack and reuse it.

You're gay, except it...

I feel bad for cumming on my turtle.

Why the fuck would I do that? I should have never masturbated in front of my turtle. So basically I was watching porn on my 55 inch tv and my turtle was next to me on the couch. The porno was really old. It was a DVD from 2002. It was probably the hottest porn I have ever watched and honestly I'm probably going to watch porn on dvd instead of from the internet. The only reason I had my turtle with me was because whenever I cum, I feel really depressed and lonely, so I thought that if my turtle watched with me I wouldn't feel lonely. Well, I started stroking my willie, I used lotion, I took all my clothes off, but my dumbass forgot the tissues. I realized that I forgot to grab tissues but it was too late. I was going to cum. I didn't want to cum everywhere so I had to think fast. It was when I saw my turtle when I realized what I had to do. I came like a motherfucker. My turtle was painted with my cum in his tiny little face and all around his shell. He didn't say a word about it, he didn't move, he just stood there looking at me like I killed a bunch of children. I would never forget the look my turtle gave me. His disappointing face broke my heart. I put on my clothes, I took my turtle to the bathroom and cleaned him off. What happened, happened. But my turtle would never forget what happened. My turtle, Tommy, would never forgive me. Today, I passed by him and I know he still remembers what I did to him 3 hours ago. My only wish is that one day, Tommy the turtle will forgive me for my horrible sins.

How many dead strippers does it take to change a light?

At least 13 because my basement is still dark.

9/11 is like me after I'm finished with my Lego house. I destroy it! 😄🤣

God, I wish my grass was emo, so it would cut itself.

When the moon hits the earth,

IT Moon-chan kissing Earth-chan.

9/11 was pretty great to me, it's just hilarious to watch people lose at Jenga.

If you have an Autistic child, don't worry. Put your trust in God and pray it gets kidnapped.

I KNOW IT'S MARCH, BUT I THOUGHT OF THIS!

Jingle bells, jingle bells! OH GOD, SANTA FELL!

I guess it's time for Mrs. Claus to go straight down to hell!

Roses are red,

foxes are red,

I like your butt, let me touch it forever.

Why was the orphan's first phone an XR?

Because it had no home button.

My sister got mad when I told her to say this word 10 times, and she got in trouble, and it was a funny word that she did not even know what she was saying, ahhahaha! 😆 lol

What time is it when you say, "Wake up?"

It is morning.

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb?