it's jokes
I just had sex...
I think I nailed it!
(Shit joke, I know.)
Why was the math book sad at the rap battle?
Because it couldn't count the bars!
Confusion life question!!!
* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?
What did the grape say when it was stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
Spell fuzz.
Okay, F-U-Z-Z, which also, it sounds like "F U Z's."
When does a dyslexic person know when they've spelt their address wrong?
When it fails to turn up.
People always call me heartless. That’s not true. I have a heart... it just wasn’t meant for you.
My nephew hated working outside in landscaping, so I got him a job in the twin towers; I don't know why he keeps complaining about it being an inside job.
Why do you need an AR-15?
So my son can use it if he's being bullied at school.
Why did the deer go to the dentist?
It had buck teeth.
Did you hear about the tourist that came to New York? Good, because they were a terrorist... When they were asked why they were traveling, they just mispronounced it.
"Come on, take the camera!"
"Isn't it clear?"
"Well, look!"
Q. What do you call a baby with anencephaly? A. Anything you want, it's not like it's gonna answer you.
Danny just bought a new game from Steam for a penny.
About one hour later, Danny asks his mother: "Mom, I am not able to start the game."
Mom asked, "Why?"
Danny answers: "It says 'Press any key' on the screen, but I can't find an 'Any' button on my keyboard."
What happens to an Indian's doorbell when you ring it?
A ring-a-ding-a-ding.
Life’s not a game... but if it was, some people would still be stuck on the tutorial.
Did you know they made a porn site for pirates?
It's called Heavy Arrrrrrg.
How are Jews and potatoes different?
A potato keeps its skin.
I think someone left trash at the doorstep. Oh, wait, it's your parents dropping you off at the kid's store.
When recycling toilet paper, you really need to process the crap out of it.
Conversely, you can recycle a condom quite easily: just turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it.