it's jokes
Why would you make jokes about birth control?
It's a great labour-saving invention.
How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb?
One (flips lens) or two? One (flips another lens) or two?
How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but they're very tiny and we're not sure how they got in there.
How many Bay Street bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
In Toronto? One to hold it up and expect the entire country to revolve around them.
How many poets does it take to change a light bulb?
One to curse the darkness, one to light a candle.
How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to pull a permit, one to schedule the inspector, and one to change the bulb.
How many Lawrence Welk fans does it take to change a light bulb?
"A one, and ah two."
What makes my life so unfair?
You invading it for no apparent reason.
How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
Four—one to hold the bulb and three to try to remember the combination.
How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They wait for it to turn itself in.
What song is the most annoying for a Serb?
Sweet Home Alabama (because it sounds like Sweet Home Albania)!
When it comes to mosquitoes in Africa, should you feel bad that they're getting AIDS from their victims?
Your hairline is so back down, it is in your neck.
Better to drink until you wave it off than to wave it down.
You should never suppress a fart. It travels up the spine high into the brain. That's where the shit ideas come from.
Dark humour is like skin.
The darker it is, the less people like it.
In 9/11, people were dying for the pizza. But it was at the bottom, so they had to die for it literally.
A manager asked a black employee to work overtime. The employee initially agreed until he was told it would be without pay.
The employee responded with, "You know what happened last time my family worked for free?"
"What happened?" said the manager.
"A civil war."
Your hairline is like the McDonald's logo. It's forming a perfect M.
Question:
Did you hear the one about MAGA people?
Answer:
It "sucks" just like they do!