it's jokes
I ordered my sandwich at a restaurant on 9/11 spicy, it came out plain.
An emo tried to give a tree a hive, but it left him hanging.
I'm writing a movie about 9/11. It's called "September 11th Two Thousand Fun."
What is the difference between the subway guy and a priest?
The subway guy didn’t get away with it...
Cause she knows how I like it, and that I’m a little young to be in the bed, butt-naked doin' your mom.
Last night I remember partying with friends to find blood on my nightstand.
Moments after, I scolded my friends to put my alarm clock back where they found it.
It's so sad that Stephen Hawking can't stand up for himself.
What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!
What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!
What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!
What time is it if you sprain an ankle or an arm?
Time to go to the doctor! 🥼
What time is it when you get home and you can walk walk?
Why does everybody like the sun? Because it's hot.
What do you call a cow that has stuff growing on it?
Mosscow
Once I ate a table... it was food consuming.
In the Middle Ages it was illegal for a blind man to become a king.
I mean, I don't see why not.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?
Because he didn't have the guts to do it.
Jerry Garcia: I’m going on a TRIP today!
Bob Weir: Where are you going?
Jerry Garcia: I’m already on it. 😯🦄🌈
A magic genie tells Tom, "I can make anything of yours disappear!"
Tom raises his mug and says, "Okay, get rid of my tea."
Genie: Poof!
Tom: It didn't work.
People, when your lover cheats on you, do this!
1. Start a conversation. 2. Say, "What's that smell?" 3. They will smell around. 4. Say, "OMG, it's a b****," and walk away and ignore them.
That forehead is so tall it can eat a plane! Open wide!
Your forehead is so big, John Cena could wrestle on it.