it's jokes
How do you verify a rape claim? You make it true.
What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Where you left it.
When is it acceptable to hit a dwarf?
When he dances with your wife and says her hair smells nice...
When I get naked in the shower, it gets turned on.
Why did the library book go to the doctor?
It needed to be checked out.
Dark jokes are like a new day. Suicidal people don't get it.
You know, eBay sucks. I was looking for a lighter, and it gave me 18,906 matches.
Why was ten scared?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it's because you have to be lucky to hit it... I thought it's because she was always scratching it.
Why was the ant so confused?
All of its uncles were ants.
Do you know about the new movie Disney made just for cancer kids? It's called Finding Kemo.
It's not pedophilia, it's early access.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
They can never make it home.
1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
2. Oh, you’re talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.
3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.
Q. How many babies does it take to shingle a roof?
A. Depends how thin you slice them.
Did you hear about the homosexual letter? It only came in male boxes.
How do you make an octopus laugh?
You give it ten tickles.
Why are there a lot of whites in hockey?
It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop.
Q: What is the difference between a stripper and a bungee cord?
A: It's cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're pretty much screwed.