it's jokes
You know, eBay sucks. I was looking for a lighter, and it gave me 18,906 matches.
Why was ten scared?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
Dark jokes are like a new day. Suicidal people don't get it.
What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer.
I saw it through my telescope last night.
So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it's because you have to be lucky to hit it... I thought it's because she was always scratching it.
It's not pedophilia, it's early access.
Why was the ant so confused?
All of its uncles were ants.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
They can never make it home.
1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
2. Oh, you’re talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.
3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.
Q. How many babies does it take to shingle a roof?
A. Depends how thin you slice them.
Did you hear about the homosexual letter? It only came in male boxes.
How do you make an octopus laugh?
You give it ten tickles.
Q: What is the difference between a stripper and a bungee cord?
A: It's cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're pretty much screwed.
How is spinach like anal sex?
If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just arrest the lightbulb for being broke and beat the room for being black.
No one has the right to look down on others unless you're perfect, and looking down on others is not perfect either.
It's just true.
How to kill a blind person.
Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.
When a mute girl gives a hand job, is it oral?
Person 1: Stop making suicidal jokes!
Person 2: Okay, okay, I’ll cut it out.
Person 1: Really?
Person 2: They're not even that deep.