it's jokes
Yo mama is so fat, I took a picture of her last year, and it is still printing.
How do you make a peanut laugh? You crack it up!
I gave an orphan an iPhone XR because it does not have a home button.
Ok, this is a texting joke. This isn't my joke; I found it on Google.
Mom: SON YOURE G-MOM JUST PASSED AWAY lol
Son: Mom, how is that funny?!?! I hope you're not laughing!
Mom: OH NO I THOUGHT LOL MEANT LAUGHING OUT LOUD
What kind of veggie is always getting itself into a hard situation?
A pickle.
Why did the 18-year-old girl need a ladder to go to school?
Because it was High School.
Why do cats like to sleep on the floor?
'Cause it's a car-PET.
What would be a pet's favorite thing to click on on this website?
Cat-egories.
Get it?
What food makes you smart? Salt, because it's a mined food.
What does "bitch" mean?
Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she'll let it go!
Yo hairline so far back that you need a magnifying glass to see it.
I've decided that from January 1st, I'm only going to watch things that are 4K and above.
It's my New Year's resolution.
What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person?
I'd ask what's up, but it's definitely not you!
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There were two when we were kids, but now it’s a touchy subject.
Bro sat down too close for comfort. I told him to move or he would get hurt.
Come on, how hard could it possibly be To move a few inches? You’re touching my D.
A guy really needs his personal space. Disobey and I’ll shove it in your face.
I wanted to make a joke about dandruff.
People are still scratching their heads over it.
What is the difference between a male prostitute who is a Democrat and a male prostitute who is a Republican?
When Republicans perform fellatio for money, it is called prostitution, but when Democrats perform fellatio for money, it is called a donation to their political campaign.
Why did the toilet paper not make it across the road?
Because it got stuck in the crack.
Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.