it's jokes

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? She can wash her crack and resell it.

His new music video has been leaked. It’s called “Living in a Tree.”

I broke my arm yesterday. My bro said it is Arm-ageddon, and I still don’t know why.

You know what pun is used for "waist?"

Nothing. You'll find nothing.

It's just a waste of time.

WARNING: READ THIS JOKE ALOUD!

Was it the pills that stopped his coughing, or was it the coffin they carried him off in?

Let's say I was immortal. No matter what I did, I would be alive. But, the catch is I’m the least flexible and least strong person in the world.

Now, I get my head chopped off. What would I do? I would roll over to my headless body and figure out what it's like to suck my own dick.

In the new Justice League movie, Flash can break glass by touching it, why is that?

Because Flash is not supported on Windows.

I must have at least 87 years of bad luck; every time I look in the mirror, it breaks!

There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.

Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.

It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.

Get your mind together!

When an orphan takes a selfie, is that its family photo?

Here’s my hand, please hold it. That way I can say I was touched by an angel.

Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?

Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.

What did the owl that's a detective say?

"Hoo did it?"

Yo mama is so fat that when she sits on the internet, it will take a day to send!

Once, I tried to say, "P.P. That's funny right there." Instead, I said, you guessed it, "Penis!"

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because the one behind it wasn't social distancing.

What did one sea say to the other sea? Nothing, it just waved.

Your mum said, "Who did it?" Ya nan!

BFF: Dude, come over to my house right now!

Me: What? No way, it's 2:58 AM.

BFF: But I just found my brother's secret stash of Oreos!

Me: I'll be over in 5 minutes.