it's jokes
I told my sister a Dairy joke.
She said it was cheesy.
Have you heard about the animal that was made of a human hand?
It's an ARMadillo.
Sonic can run around the world in a second. I can do it in 0.5, but Chuck Norris has already done it before us.
Heard the Helen Keller single?
It’s called ERRRRRAGHHH!!!
I would tell a pussy joke, but you would never get it.
I walked out of the electronic store and saw a midget carrying a big screen TV all by himself. He looked like he needed a hand, so I offered to help.
He said, "This is not a big screen TV, it's a Kindle!!"
I've always wanted to WAVE to a dolphin, but it could never SEA me.
That dolphin is so WASHED up. WATER you say we get revenge?
The past, present, and future walk into a bar.
It gets really tense.
I've got a jar of dirt! I've got a jar of dirt, and guess what's inside it!
I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hairdryer.
Your mom's so heavy that it caused Atlas, the Titan, to slip a disc.
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. The man orders a beer, one for him and one for the giraffe.
After they finish their drinks, the giraffe falls over, and the man gets his stuff and heads for the door.
The bartender says, "Stop! You can't leave that thing lying on the floor!"
The man says, "Mate, that's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
Karien: Mom, I don't care if you're dating a new guy, I want you and Dad to be together!
Daiana: Sometimes things don't work out, like when it didn't work between your father and me. Time to move on, Karien.
Karien: Well I'm not moving on! I can't believe you love someone else!
Daiana: Karien, just give him a chance. His name is Derek, he loves cooking, cleaning, and anything that has you doing something.
Karien: That is so boring!
Daiana: Well just work with me please?
Karien: I'll give you a day... 24 hours, Mom!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It doesn't matter, he's dead.
What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
Student: Hey! Did you hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Teacher: No?
Student: All I can say about it is, "Well, well, well."
Make like a drum and beat it!
Spock went to the Enterprise's toilet and he knocked on it. "Kirk, are you in there?" Spock asked.
Kirk answered, "Hold on, I am making a captain's log."
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it wanted to be Argon.
How to make holy water:
1. Grab a pot.
2. Put water in it.
3. Set the stove to 420 degrees.
4. Boil the hell out of it.