it's jokes
BFF: Dude, come over to my house right now!
Me: What? No way, it's 2:58 AM.
BFF: But I just found my brother's secret stash of Oreos!
Me: I'll be over in 5 minutes.
Why do cats like to sleep on the floor?
'Cause it's a car-PET.
What would be a pet's favorite thing to click on on this website?
Cat-egories.
Get it?
How do you make a peanut laugh? You crack it up!
I gave an orphan an iPhone XR because it does not have a home button.
Ok, this is a texting joke. This isn't my joke; I found it on Google.
Mom: SON YOURE G-MOM JUST PASSED AWAY lol
Son: Mom, how is that funny?!?! I hope you're not laughing!
Mom: OH NO I THOUGHT LOL MEANT LAUGHING OUT LOUD
WARNING: READ THIS JOKE ALOUD!
Was it the pills that stopped his coughing, or was it the coffin they carried him off in?
What does "bitch" mean?
Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"
Yo mama is so fat, I took a picture of her last year, and it is still printing.
What did the tree say when it gets horny? My wood has a splinter.
What food makes you smart? Salt, because it's a mined food.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the one behind it wasn't social distancing.
What did the bison say to his son leaving for school?
"Bye son!"
Get it? Bye son, Bison!
Once, I tried to say, "P.P. That's funny right there." Instead, I said, you guessed it, "Penis!"
I have a daily routine where I take a crap every morning at 6 AM, but wake up at 7 AM. And it's not even a joke.
You know what pun is used for "waist?"
Nothing. You'll find nothing.
It's just a waste of time.
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she’ll let it goo!
Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them?
It took my sole.
An HDMI cable and an electrical outlet went on a date. It didn't go well, because they couldn't connect.
I heard every single machine in the coin factory just broke down all of a sudden.
It just doesn’t make any cents!