it's jokes

You're so poor that when you walked into an elevator, you thought it was a mobile home.

A woman is lying in bed after making love to her lover. After a moment, she starts to roll over, and in the process, she realizes that the spent condom is still inside her.

Worried, she wakes up her lover. She asks, “What should we do about this?” To which he replies: “Who was it?”

How many women does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they can't change anything.

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

Diet Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house. It was delicious.

Why was 10 scared?

Because it was in the middle of 9 and 11.

Maybe the reason there isn't any physical evidence is because it didn't happen.

What does Cangaball do after eating its vegetables?

Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.

How many Kardashians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One really small one and one really small black guy.

If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.

If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"

I’d make a joke about prostitutes and women sleeping with multiple men, but it would just be whore-ible.

I've decided that from January 1st, I'm only going to watch things that are 4K and above.

It's my New Year's resolution.

I'm reading a book on anti-gravity, it's impossible to PUT DOWN!

What makes genders and Twin Towers similar?

There used to be two of them, and now it's a sensitive subject.

I might not be able to make my bed, but at least I can get out of it.

Have you been to that paraplegic strip club? It's crawling with pussy!

"Can't go under it, can't go over it, we gotta go through it!"

What is the difference between me and a fire?

It's hot.

You’re so fat that when you sit on the toilet, it says, “A B C D E F G, get your butt off of me!”

What’s it called when you give an emo some rope as a present?

Murder.