it's jokes

My husband left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.”

I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it’s working fine? Anyone know what he means?

What did the woman say when I told a rape joke?

"I don't get it."

I went to kill Biden with poison water and mixed it with my finger, and then licked it. I passed out, and now I'm here.

Dark humor is like food:

Not everyone gets it.

Or a kid with cancer, it never gets old.

Yo mama so ugly, when she looks in a mirror, it says, "Viewer discretion advised!"

What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?

One stops sucking when you slap it.

I wrote a song about a tortilla.

Actually, it’s more of a wrap.

If a baby dies in the womb, is it considered suicide?

What do you call it when you drop a bottle of food dye?

"It's dye-ing."

I saw a bicycler flip over a gutter. It was pretty grate.

A man walking on his roof, carrying an axe. He drops it on someone below him and says, "Sorry, it was an axe-cident!"

How did the carpenter do on his interview? He nailed it!

Me: I used to laugh at Skyrim jokes like you, then I took an...

Everyone Else: DON'T...FUCKING...SAY IT.

Why couldn’t anyone see the bird?

Because it was in da skies.

I have a joke about death.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side.

Think about it :)

Do you want to hear a joke about pizza?

Wait, no. It's too CHEESY!

I bought a new shotgun the other day. Want to know what I called it?

Kurt Cobain's microphone.

A man is watching TV and his wife comes down and says, "I just fell down the stairs, did you not hear me?"

Man, "Sorry, I thought it was the start of Eastenders!"

What do you call nitrogen in the day? You call it day-trogen!

I did a walk today, but I had a walk home from a walk. Walk today, but it when.