it's jokes
That poor kid, he was fine until I bought him a mother's day card for his mum. The second he saw it, he burst out crying...
What 7 letters do you say when you open the fridge and see it’s empty?
O I C U R M T
People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
One if you throw it hard enough.
A Sunday school teacher asked her children on the way to service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
exactly
What does the + sign stand for in LGBTQ+?
It’s the premium version of gay.
What's the difference between a sheet and a baby?
One of them is really loud when you iron it.
Who’s stronger in a relationship, a man or a woman? A woman, because it takes six men to carry him to his grave; it only takes one woman to put him there.
Why do strippers never care about things?
Because the last time they gave a fuck, it was for $20 an hour.
My mom thinks I need to stop objectifying women. I think she is overreacting.
She asked why I broke up with the last girl, and I said,
"It didn't work out."
She told me to be more specific, so I said,
"I just told you, she didn't exercise."
I recently learned that it's politically incorrect to talk about taking part in a school shooting.
Apparently the term "school photos" is more acceptable.
I hooked up with my German girlfriend. It was really distracting when she kept saying her age.
What happens if a cookie turns emo?
It becomes a cookie cutter.
My dick was in the book of world records.
But then the librarian asked me to take it out.
When Elsa said, "Let it go," you took it too seriously and let go of your hairline.
Mom: Quit making suicidal jokes!
Me: Don't worry, it will all be over soon, Mom!
Mom: ❓❓❓
The population in Ireland's capital started rapidly growing. In fact, it's Dublin!
Why are there so many scars and cuts on your arm?
Because it's a battlefield.
It's better being depressed and suicidal than being happy, know why? Happiness never lasts forever.
What is the difference between Putin and Hitler? Putin no longer supplies gas and Hitler gives it away for free.