it's jokes
Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...
After 12, it's lunch. 😂
Q: Why couldn’t Poe Dameron find his sandwich?
A: Because BB-8 it.
Ya it's bad:)
Did you hear about the new sex doll they've invented for Muslims? It blows itself up!!
That poor kid, he was fine until I bought him a mother's day card for his mum. The second he saw it, he burst out crying...
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter, it won’t come to you.
Can emos eat a happy meal, or is it a depressed meal?
Two men are walking down the street, and see a dog licking its balls. One man says I wish I could do that. The other one says you can probably just pet him
Israel and Palestine jokes are hard at these times.
It’s all about execution.
What do Colorado and Saudi Arabia have in common?
It's legal to get stoned.
My friend was pissed off with me. I was sniffing his sister's knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward.
A gay guy and a trucker get in a car crash.
The gay guy says, "Somebody call the police! This man just rammed into me!"
The trucker says, "What the fuck did you just say, fucker? Get over here, I'm gonna wreck your ass!"
The gay man then says, "It's okay, everybody, don't call the police! He wants to negotiate."
when someone says to cheer up: you, I never thought of that. :)
-> in reality, :( (sob)
depression is no game, and here in this world, we are here for each other, although at times it might not seem like it.
Keep strong, and you'll find the end of the tunnel, but ending the pain and being gone just spreads depression.
Last Halloween, I went dressed as a woman. When I rang the doorbell, an elderly woman opened it, and I made a grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands.
She immediately called the police and told them exactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First, he asked if my parents were here, and I said nothing. Concerned by my answer, he then asked if I was okay, so I said nothing. He asked me what my name was, and I responded, "Hellen Keller."
Why is it so easy to bully an orphan? What are they gonna do, tell their mum?
Me: Have you seen the movie Constipation?
You: No.
Me: Because it hasn’t come out yet! ERMINER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why did Michael Jackson get away with it? Because he's a smooth criminal.
Your hairline goes so far back, the dinosaurs saw it before you did.
Life is like a penis. Long, free, flowing, and soft, until a woman comes and makes it hard. 😉
How do you stop a baby from drowning? pt. 2
-Harpoon it.