it's jokes
How many gay guys can you fit on a barstool? 4... if you turn it upside down.
I just got a job at the prison library.
It has its prose and cons.
There is a thin line between death and life!
You won't live to see it.....
The Cardiogram will!!
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because it was a very large mammal; its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to Hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
Yo mama's ass is so fat it has its own congressman.
Why didn't the sun go to college?
Because it already had a million degrees!
A horse, a fox, and a bunny join together and make a rock band. They started doing tiny gigs, but they got famous and went on tour. They all got so famous it went to their heads, and the band disbanded. The fox made his, and the bunny made her own. The horse was sad that the band was no more, so he went to a bar, and the bartender asked why the long face?
Some people think "prison" is one word, but to robbers, it's a whole sentence.
Why does it take longer for women to orgasm than men?
Who cares?
I would tell you a joke about a clock, but it’s a waste of time! 😄😄
Q: How many dogs does it take to shingle a roof? A: It depends on how you cut 'em.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine, he woke up.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down!
What's long and can never wait for more for the ladies' action and likes when it gets harder...
Your penis!
What's red, 6 inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry when I feed it to her?
Her miscarriage.
What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich?
I don't f**k a sandwich before I eat it.
A man and a cow walk into a McDonalds, and the man walks up to the front counter and says, “I’d like one beef burger.” The employee of McDonalds said, “Sure thing sir, also I really like to see your cow, may I bring him into the back room really quick to show my co-workers?” The man says, “Sure.” The employee takes the cow into the back room. A couple minutes later, the employee came back with his burger. The man took a bite of it, and realized his cow was gone.
Wanna hear a joke?
Yeah.
...
What's the joke?
I said it already!
Three blonde girls are on an island, and they are much too far away from land to swim. They find a genie on the island who offers them each one wish. The first girl says, "I wish I was smart enough to get off this island!" So the genie makes her a redheaded girl, she cuts down a tree, makes it into a boat, and proceeds to row off the island.
The next girl says, "I wish I was even smarter than her so I don't have to do so much manual labor!" So she turns into a brunette and makes a sailboat and lets the wind take her off the island.
The final girl says, "I wish I was smarter than both of them!" So she turns into a man and takes the bridge.
When I'm cutting my grass, want to know what it reminds me of? My arms and legs.