it's jokes
What did the man's dick say to the man?
I just can't "hand"le it!
I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I've ever seen.
Why did the bike fall over?
It was too tired.
A bicurious man goes to a gay bar.
A gay man offers him a drink.
The bi man explains he doesn't know if he's gay or not.
"That's fine," he says, "let's just have a drink."
The gay man asks him for a dance, and he explains again he isn't sure if he's gay or not.
Eventually, the gay man invites him to go home with him to hang out as friends.
They get to his house, and the gay man says, "Do you fancy having sex?"
He isn't sure, so the gay man explains, "I'll push in slow, and at any point you want to stop, make animal sounds, and if you like it, start singing."
So they get to it, and the gay man pushes in slowly, the bi man bursts out "MOOOOO MOOOOO MOOOOOOVVVEE CCLOSSEEERRRR"
What's worse than waking up with a dead baby next to you?
Realizing you were so drunk that you made love to it the night before...
Do you know what the similarity between a penis and cucumber is?
They both have cum in it.
Do you want to know why they call it an orphanage? Because they couldn't call it orphans home.
I can’t hang out with an emo when they are sad? Why? Because it cuts deeply.
I donated 100 dollars to a blind children’s charity. Too bad they won’t ever see a dime of it.
Did you hear about the person who got hit in the head with a soda can?
Good thing it was a "soft" drink!
So my friend and I went camping at a Cold Lake Campground and he jumped into it without any warning, and so I asked him, "Wat-er you doing?"
Me and my friend went to the park. After a while, we grabbed our little princess and said, "It's time to go, sweetie." But before we could go, someone said, "Stop them, they have my daughter!"
What do you call it when Hitler puts retards in the oven? Baked potatoes.
Can we have a party in space?
First, we need to planet ;)
Get it? "Plan it" = planet.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Q: Why can't you run through a campground?
A: You can only ran, because it's past tents!
Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester!
"Knock knock?"
"Mustache."
"I mustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later!"
There was a dog in the middle of the room, so I called it and started to play fetch. Then my mother shouted at me for playing with my food. I missed it, but it was tasty.