it's jokes

Have you seen the movie "Constipation"?

It hasn't come out yet.

Why was the blunt pencil bad at making speeches? It never had a point.

What's the difference between a man and a table?

The table doesn't cry when I break its legs.

What's the difference between a plane and a woman?

At least the plane doesn't give you herpes when it crashes at your place.

My gun is like my house, used to be full, now it's empty.

Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.

One hot day a cow wanted some shade.

He found a tree and started resting under it, but there was a chicken bothering him. The cow exclaimed, "Moooove!" The chicken didn't move. Again, "Moooove!" and still the chicken wouldn't move. The cow yelled, "MOOOOOVE!" The chicken turned around and said, "FUCKOFF."

I can tell you an airplane joke, but it will probably fly over your head.

Why did the penguin pull out a tooth? It was Mexican.

Once, I ate a skunk. It was hard because I didn't get it down the whole way.

Two old Indian ladies out picking potatoes, one lady stops, staring at this huge potato, turning it round and round.

The other old lady says to her, "What are you doing?" She says, "These potatoes remind me of my husband's nuts."

She says, "Oh my, are they really that big?" She said, "No, they're that dirty. lololol"

My mother wanted to test my responsibility and wanted me to cook dinner for the family to help me understand how it feels to constantly cook for a whole family. So, me with my horrible humor, decided to make a giant joke for when dinner time came around, and so I just got four plates and set them in front of my family and I then said, "Here you are, a fine African meal." Then everybody looked at me in disappointment, and then I continued to say, "What? Poor taste?"

In life, it’s either yeet or get beat, and I clearly failed yeeting as a child, as my dad beat me.

Son: Dad? Why is mommy no longer with us?

Dad: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Son: Why?

Dad: To get to the other side, but your mother only made it about halfway.

Sally has no arms. What did she get for Christmas? I don't know, she hasn't opened it yet.

Stop joking about suicide, it's not funny. You people must be so ignorant to be able to joke about such serious issues that you clearly are uneducated on.

How does the Eskimo make a house of cards?

Igloos it.

Yo mama so fat, when she joined Team 10...

It became TEAM, 10, TONS!

A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian responds with, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back!"

Yo mama's so short, when it rains, she's the last to know!