it's jokes
Three doctors go into a room to get rid of a dead guy's body. They notice when they walk over that he has a boner. The first doctor decides, "Why not fuck him? He still has a boner left in him." The second says, "Well, he's dead, and I am a virgin." The third one says, "I can't, I'm on my period," and then says, "Okay, why not? He's already dead. It's not like he doesn't smell bad." After all that, they go to walk out, and the guy pops up and says, "Thanks for saving my life, pumping blood back into my body..."
I caught my sister licking up and down and deep throating a banana. I said, "Why are you doing that for?" She replied, "I'm doing it for practice for your friends."
A blind man walked into me at a store. I said, "Watch it, bitch!" and he said, "Sorry, I didn't see you there."
Me: Have you ever went sky diving?
Friend: No.
Me: Well don't, it sucks.
Friend: Why?
Me: They gave me a parachute and I lived.
Yo mama so short that when she plays mini golf, it's just called golf.
So I made a parody for "Me, Myself, and I." It goes like this: "Me, Myself, and I, I'm gonna drink bleach until I die!"
How to make holy water:
1. Grab a pot.
2. Put water in it.
3. Set the stove to 420 degrees.
4. Boil the hell out of it.
Why did the dead baby cross the road?
It was strapped to the chicken.
I'm sorry for your loss.
It is going tibia okay.
Your cow is so ugly, it scared the crap out of the toilet!
What do you call a hill with cows on it?
A Moo-ntain.
Why didn’t the bike stand on its own?
It was too tired.
Where do you find a cow with no legs?
Right where you left it!
Why did Ten die?
It was between 9/11.
Germany: As long as America stays out of the war, we should win.
Japan: *bombing Pearl Harbor* Cowabunga It Is!!
Did you hear about the Boston marathon? 'Cause, well, I heard it was a blast and that it blew everyone away!
Did you hear about the man that got fired from his can job? It was soda-pressing.
Why was the Chinese laundry joke not funny? It had no irony.
I got hit with a can of soda.
It doesn't matter, it was a soft drink.
How did Stephen Hawking make it up the stairway to heaven?
Well, he didn’t; they invented an elevator.