it's jokes
Suicide gives you security for the future.
Decide the day of suicide and live with full joy till that day, and you can choose to postpone it.
What’s the difference a hooker an a drug dealer...?? A hooker can wash her crack an resell it.
Person 1: "Where was Hiroshima?"
Person 2: "In Japan."
Person 1: "No wonder! That's why they never saw it coming."
Why is sex with pandas so much fun?
I don't know, it just is. 🐼
Why won't my boyfriend eat my pie? His brother made it.
What comes next in the pattern, ottffs?
S, because it represents numbers going up: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
My friend asked me how fast my humor was, and I said it jumps borders. Then he asked how dark my humor is, and I said it picks cotton.
Why is a circle gay?
It's not straight.
A dad and his son walk out to the middle of the woods armed only with a shovel and a lantern.
Son: "Dad, it's creepy out here!"
Dad: "You're complaining? I'm the one that has to leave the woods alone!"
After the shooting, people were asking why they would do it.
They wanted to stop but it turns out they were playing an online game.
I ate a watch once... it was time-consuming.
I went to the bathroom and into a stall to see a hole in the wall. It reminded me of "The Lickable Wallpaper" from "Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory." I jokingly started licking. Though, the carrot tasted musky and kinda wrinkly.
When is a piece of wood made king?
When it's a ruler.
I heard an unusual word the other day: "Opaque."
Unfortunately, what it means is unclear.
I was voting for Trump in the 2016 election. It's been a while since the last presidential assassination...
Why is the sun so attractive? Because it is burning hot!
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Phew, it's hot in here." The other muffin says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"
How bad is explosive diarrhea when a Muslim has it? Because my Chipotle blew up yesterday.
I'd tell you a joke about pizza, but it's too cheesy.
Question: How bad is German WiFi?
Answer: It's the wurst.