it's jokes
An officer confronts two congressmen.
He informs them, \"I’m looking for a couple of child molesters.\"
The two look at each other, turn to the officer and exclaim, \"Sure! We’ll do it!\"
Question:
Did you hear the one about MAGA people?
Answer:
It "sucks" just like they do!
Your forehead's so big, NASA uses it to test satellite signals.
Your hairline is like the McDonald's logo. It's forming a perfect M.
Your hairline's so far back, even Rosa Parks refused to sit in the back; it went all the way there itself.
I’m the type to join a cult unknowingly, but get too lazy to commit to it.
Why did the orphan go to church?
It was because he was looking for someone to call "Father."
The great meme reset is like a fart. If you force it, it's gonna be shit.
Your forehead’s so big it got sponsored by GAP.
What’s the difference between a woman and a mosquito?
A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.
I watched an episode of Law & Order Special Victims Unit. It turns out it's about rape. I thought it was going to be about crimes on a short bus or something.
What is it you can give at Christmas and still keep? Herpes.
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
Q: Why is marriage not a word?
It's a life sentence!
Why is it called scissoring and not lip-syncing?
Why was 10 scared?
Because it’s between 9/11.
We found out my grandpa is addicted to Viagra. No one is taking it harder than my dad.
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One makes you believe in Heaven, the other makes you feel it.
A house has a crack. A guy covers it with Plaster of Paris.\n\nHouse: "Where the heck am I supposed to do my shit now?"
A manager asked a black employee to work overtime. The employee initially agreed until he was told it would be without pay.
The employee responded with, "You know what happened last time my family worked for free?"
"What happened?" said the manager.
"A civil war."