IT jokes
Your mum sat on a phone, and she turned it into a pancake.
When you cream pie a tardy hottie, it’s called a loaded potato. 🥴🦴💨🥔
Today I found out that my cat got hit by a car accident. Well, I guess I'm gonna play ninja fruits on my hands again. It's not like anyone will notice.
Singing in the shower is fun, until you get soap in your mouth.
Then it's a soap opera.
Quote for the day.
I looked this quote up, but it really is a good thing, just for starters.
"Sometimes you will never know the VALUE of a moment until it becomes a MEMORY."
Also, loving is so much more to give instead! Always remember to love!!! Best-Gwen :)
Roses are red, you are gay, and that's it.
What happened to the frog that parked illegally?
He was toad away.
Get it?
What did the mommy cow say to the baby cow?
It's pasture your bedtime.
My friends hate when I make skeleton jokes. I guess I need to put more backbone into it.
When God created women, it was an accident. He meant to make a man, but then "WHOA-MAN!!"
What did the ocean say when it saw the beach?
Nothing, it just waved.
Mom: You need to grow up. You're so immature.
Me: *glares* Get out of my castle....
Mom: It's a pillow fort.
Me: Why can't I have an imagination! ?
Mom: You're almost 19 years old.
Me: Not good enough... OUT!
If you're ever down one day, just go to the orphanage and bully an orphan because what is he going to do about it? He has no parents.
Let's play pretend. I'll be Nike and you'll be McDonald's, cuz I'll be doin' it and you'll be lovin' it.
Oompa Loompa Doobity doo, I got a glock and it’s pointing at you.
I was visiting an orphanage and started to pull in close to the building. My car hit 3 speed bumps, and it caught me off guard. I got out of my car, looked under my tire, and saw three orphans wedged in my tire. I started to get worried, but then I thought to myself... nobody will miss them.
I'd tell you a Kobe joke.
But I am afraid it wouldn't land well.
I was walking in the forest with my gf.
I had a Desert Eagle for protection.
A bear jumped out of the bushes; one shot was enough to put my gf down, and it gave me enough time to run away.
A man dies, and his friend is invited to his funeral.
This friend asks his wife, "Can I say a word?"
"Of course," she says.
The man stands up and says, "Plethora!"
The man's wife says, "Thanks, it means a lot!"
One day a man dies and goes to heaven. He gets there and sees a bunch of clocks. He asks Jesus, "Hey, what are the clocks for?" Jesus replies, "They move every time you sin." "This is Mother Teresa's, it has not moved so she has not sinned." "This one is Abraham Lincoln's, it has moved twice so he sinned twice." The man asks, "Where is Joe Biden's?" Jesus replies, "It's in my office-- I'm using it as a ceiling fan."