Irony jokes

Stephen Hawking has enough money to stand up, but can’t grab the money.

When they say you live by the sword, you die by the sword, not in Paul Walker's case. He lived by the car, died by a tree. Well, I guess the car was stumped.

Wanna hear somethin' ironic? When one cutter tells another cutter to stop, but he himself can't stop cutting.

The irony of metal jokes is pretty fun. But it leads to a lot of people stealing them.

I asked my mom what is dark humor. She said "see them boy over there in the wheelchair, ask him to walk." I said, "but I’m blind." She responded, "Exactly."

My aunt's star sign was Cancer, pretty ironic how she died.

She was eaten by a giant crab.

My memes are ironic, but my depression is chronic.

Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?

If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run"?

Me: spreading positivity.

Everyone else at the HIV testing center.

What movie does an orphan want for Christmas? "Spiderman: Homecoming";)

Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says, "Wow, that's got to be the fastest we've ever gotten to an accident site."

I remember my grandfather's last words: "Is that loaded?"

*on a date*

me - "I get to work with animals all day."

her - "How sweet! What do you do?"

me - "I'm a butcher."