Croc jokes

How do you cook an alligator? With a croc-pot.

I was going to make alligator last night, but I noticed I only had a croc pot.

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren't that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."

The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."

The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."

And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."

The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them.

The guy from France said, "For France!" And drank the poison and died.

The man from Britain said, "Long live the queen!" And shot himself and died.

And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, "Make a canoe out of this, you fuckers!"

What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?

One of them you'll see in a while, and the other one you'll see later.

Cousins make dozens.

The crocodile just kept saying, "No!" He was in Da Nile!

What's better than seeing a baby swing around on a clothesline at 60km/h? Stopping it with a cricket bat.