Intelligence jokes
He’s not dead, just his storage unit.
Why are baby elephants so smart? They hang out with friends!
Say "beans" fast three times.
Now you’re an idiot.
How is Stephen Hawking so smart? He uploads it to his software.
What's the difference between the Grand Canyon and a blonde?
The Grand Canyon is a busy ditch.
My friend: Yo stupid.
Me: Is that right, and what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?
My friend: *rolls eyes and says whatever.*
Me: Keep on rolling them, you might find your brain in there.
My friend: "Yo, stupid."
Me: "Is that right? And what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?"
My friend: *rolls eyes* and says, "Whatever."
Me: "Keep on rolling them; you might find your brain in there."
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
What do you say when your brother has too many jeans?
"Gene-ious!"
Your mama is so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl!
How do you put "blonde" and "duh" in the same sentence? Just say, "Blondes are dumb."
Q: Why can't a blonde call 911?
A: Because she can't find the 11.
What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal?
One's a busy ditch.
How do you drown a Blonde? You put a scratch and sniff sticker in a pool.
What's the smartest crime?
3rd degree murder.
How does a well-educated graduate approach a delicate situation?
I don't know, how does a well-graduated education approach a what?
With a degree!
Your name is so damn retarded you got sent to the animal farm.
Why do dogs like skeletons?
Because they're boneheads.
What was the one test Stephen Hawking couldn't pass? The beep test.
3 men go to hell. Satan says if you can question me and I can't answer, you go to heaven.
The first man asks if Satan knew how to make computers. He goes to hell. The next man asks if he knew how to make furniture. He goes too. The third man pokes a ton of holes in a bottle cap and farts in the bottle, asks Satan where the fart came from. Satan said every possible answer and the man pointed to his butthole and said "nope this one"😂